I have made it my life’s mission to talk to men about feminism, but it’s not easy. You see, men don’t listen to women, especially women who talk about feminism. Men listen to other men. And you know what kind of men talk to other men? From Jordan Peterson who loves to lecture about the biological differences of the sexes and how different our nature is, to the clones of Andrew Tate who openly told young men to rape women to put them in their place. Not coincidentally, Tate has been charged with rape, human trafficking and forming an organized crime group to sexually exploit women.
The thing is, Tate was just the tip of the iceberg. There are thousands of neophytes out there who want to be Tate in Tate’s place, and they’re doing everything they can to make it happen, because they know there’s a gap in the market and they are aching to fill the hole.
Tiktok is filled with misogynistic would-be Taters telling fifteen-year-olds to be “real men”, to take steroids to get big, to stop whining, to stop acting like little b*tches, to learn how to make money online, (by scamming 12-year-olds), to invest in crypto, and if they are in their twenties, they are worthless if they don’t have a lambo. A Lamborghini. In their twenties. In this economy.
Misogynists pop up on social media like unwanted DMS and they constantly talk about what it means to be a man, which in their worldview is to be a gym bro, make tons of money, not talk about feelings and other “simp” stuff like that, be angry all the time and view women as holes, unless it’s time to procreate. (Even then, women won’t be real people, but household sex robots who cook, clean and provide care and gratification).
These kind of men influence millions of teenage boys who see a video first, and then another pops up on their feed, and another, and another, until they believe it all and adjust their idea of reality through the distorted filter of what we call problematic/toxic masculinity.
Men, especially young men, are in dire need of guidance. They are desperate for almost anyone to help them make sense of a changing world, a world where what they were taught as children, no longer seems to apply. They lived through the #MeToo movement and saw women hurt and angry, and their immediate reaction was “not all men”, meaning defensive or passive aggressive, but that’s not enough pushback anymore. They’re becoming openly aggressive.
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“How dare women be angry when it’s them who have all the privilege? The whole world tries to take care of them and protect them, how many women have you seen doing manual labor in a blue-collar job? They don’t have to go to war and they get saved first if the ship goes down.
But worst of all, these ungrateful whiners deprive Good Guys of sex, since none of them agree to have sex with me. By what right, you b*tch, do you say no to a Good Guy?
And they talk a load of nonsense about “patriarchy”, as if it’s not them who have the upper hand and have turned men to beta subs. They talk about “rape culture” as if we don’t all condemn true rapists, they say they don’t like wolf-whistles. Then why did you wear that skirt, you slut? To top it all, they say genders are more than two, all that woke B.S, libtard feminazis, that’s what they are.
They say masculinity is “toxic” and they pretend they’re into dudes you can’t really call men, sissies and beta males who talk about their feelings and cry like little girls, all soft and weak, who will never be real men.
Because real men aren’t like that. They are tough. Strong. Powerful. Dominating. They don’t need to talk much. They’re alphas. These are the kind of men who win at life. Everything else is lies and propaganda, for a new order of things where men will lose their hard-earned rights and will be emasculated in childhood, growing up like girls, lest they express their true male biological nature. It’s part of their plan to feminize men, and the real man must resist”.
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And resist they do. They resist by turning to neo-conservatism, i.e. alt-rightism and misogyny. They desperately seek to belong and feel like they fit somewhere into a society that is changing at a swift pace, afraid no one needs who they are anymore, no one needs what they were taught to be.
The reality is that masculinity is in crisis and we don’t have enough positive role models of evolved masculinity, not enough examples of redefined masculinity embracing feminism and women as people. Because human relationships are all we’ve got.
That’s why dating needs updating and redefining too. As we know it, it’s old-fashioned and problematic, based on ideals of the past. A pinch of the 1800s, where the man had to be a gentleman and the woman a “lady”. A dash of the 1950s, with the man being a provider and the woman a virgin and home maker, a splash of the 70s sexual liberation, meaning sex before marriage is allowed, but women can’t have a body count over 5 or they are cheap sluts. A serving of the 80s and 90s, with women’s magazines teaching us “10 ways to drive him wild in bed” -just the man, because female pleasure was too complicated, (but you’d better fake an orgasm to make him feel good). And still, women are supposed to play hard to get, so no means yes, so out the window goes consent.
Add a garnish of porn culture, where abuse becomes the norm, and throw it all in the dating apps mixing bowl. The cocktail is toxic. That’s why we need to redefine dating, so that it’s healthy, fun, equal and mutually pleasurable. Feminist dating is the dating you want, even if you still haven’t come to terms with the word “feminism”. Feminism is pro-women, and if you are not that, how can you expect any woman to want to be in a relationship with you?
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