Relationships teach us something about ourselves as we go through life’s trials and tribulations. When a relationship ends, we’re frequently left feeling dejected and unsure of how to put ourselves back together. Our heart has been crushed, and we’re left to find out what to do with the remainder of our life. We’ve lost all of our hopes and dreams, and our heart is crushed, too. We feel like we’ve failed and the world is about to end. Things we used to like are no longer enjoyable, and the future appears grim.
Then we have the what-ifs racing through our minds. But I couldn’t let go of the rope. Surely, I should have heeded my warnings. When I couldn’t hold the relationship together, I wondered what was wrong with me. My sweetheart would be with me if I simply did this. What if I pledge to complete all he/she requested that I was unable to do? Would that be sufficient? Maybe, just maybe, I might be content once more. The heartbreak of a love ending is awful. There are times when we feel as though we would do everything to be free of the pain.
Let’s face it, rejection is difficult to bear. We all desire to be liked and appreciated for who we are at our core. Our lovers abandon us when we open ourselves up to the complexities of being in a relationship and they leave it all behind. It deprives us of our basic human yearning for affection. If I can’t be more this or that, then what am I doing wrong? We tell ourselves these things all the time. The answer is that you are perfect just the way you are, and you deserve to be loved just for who you are.
The problem is that we enter these relationships with the expectation that they would last forever, yet all too frequently this is not the case. As children, we are shown this living happily ever after narrative through television, magazines, and literature. The divorce rate in the United States is 50 percent, while the failure rate for couples is 90 percent. As a result, you’ll certainly have a relationship end in divorce. Instead of recognizing the fact that all of our relationships come to an end at some point, we are too frequently left feeling defeated by this circumstance. The truthfully hurts, I get it. But when you think about it, any connection ends when one person dies, we lose touch, a fork in the road separates us, or someone rejects us all together.
This raises the question in my mind. Why do we place so much importance on our close relationships? In my opinion, this is because people have a distorted view of what a partnership is. Having someone by your side for the rest of your life is what most people consider to be a relationship. That one person who will always be there for you when no one else can. This is, in fact, a misunderstanding. Developing as a person is at the heart of any relationship. This individual is privy to some of your most private thoughts and innermost desires. These people may bring out the worst and the best in you. Hopefully, the best is better than the worst. Even in the darkest corners, there is room for improvement. Doing what a partnership is meant to do. We need your help to develop. Unless we had a close confidant, some of our innermost inner workings would not be exposed for growth weren’t exposed.
Our partner, on the other hand, has a favorable impact on our development. Because we like these qualities in the other person, we imitate their conduct and carry these qualities into other relationships in our lives. Where other people take up on them and adopt them as their own. The negative parts teach us to stand up for ourselves, develop boundaries, be patient, and understand what works and what doesn’t. Start looking at your relationship as an opportunity to grow and improve yourself and your partner’s standing in the world. Rather than being a self-serving spouse who will be there for you for the rest of your life, this perspective improves the world.
In the aftermath of a breakup, if you’re still reeling over the loss of that person. Remember that a relationship does not determine who you are or what you’re worth. When you lose a loved one, your heart breaks. Take what you’ve learned and use it to better yourself and the world around you. There’s little doubt about it: the end of an unhealthy relationship may be the start of something amazing. Like a lotus flower blooming in a muddy pond, this poem
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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