Essay 17 of 18
What I’m saying to you is, even at your age. It’s okay that this happened, and it’s not an omen. It’s not!
Do you know what I mean? In other words, I’m inviting you to take the ultimacy thinking out of it.
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I do understand part of what makes it feel so ultimate was that there were all of the things you describe in those 16 voice-notes/casts that really mattered.
I had another colleague who had a crush this year, and after coaching her through, it really taught her something she said she had to acknowledge. She was super frustrated and asked, “Am I so frustrated because it’s the height of me wanting to be with somebody?” She found herself saying the classic, “All the good ones are gone!” Then after she and I talked about it, she checked herself and said,
“Oh, I’m afraid, and I’ve fallen into scarcity thinking. This is not me because I’m cute, and not just that I’m cute, but it’s also that the world is abundant, and there is more than enough in this world system for me. I’ve never been one to fall into scarcity fear-based thinking; that’s not who I am. It’s never been how I’ve operated. Oh, hell no, there’s an abundance. Therefore, I must not be ready, or the person I was crushing on must not be ready. So no, I just haven’t met the right person.”
My point in sharing that revelation she had, is for you to consider stepping back from ultimacy thinking. Grieve, be frustrated, be angry, but don’t get into ultimacy thinking and making declarations and what this means because I think it takes a minute for things to get clear. So this is where I would counsel you to chill. First, survive, then come back intact.
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Essay 18 of 18 Getting Your Combo Pack In This Life (coming 04.23.22)
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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 Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
 The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
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