In a world where there are so many people to date, it can be hard to find someone who is right for you.
With dating apps and sites like Tinder, Match.com, and Plenty of Fish, we have access to more potential partners than ever before.
But this also means that the market has become oversaturated with choices, and it’s challenging to know which one will make you happy in the long term.
In this blog post, I’ll walk you through how to find love amidst all these options.
“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
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Part I: The Process
Find out what you want in a relationship
The first step to finding your significant other is figuring out what you want in a relationship.
Decide which values are non-negotiable for you and focus on those when looking at potential matches.
For example, if marriage is important to you, make sure the person you’re interested in wants that too, before investing more time into them.
It can take some trial and error, but it’s better than wasting someone’s time because they aren’t suitable for you.
Ask yourself this question: “Is there enough here?” If not, move on.
Being clear might sound harsh but having an honest conversation about expectations will save everyone involved from future heartache later down the line; nobody likes getting their feelings hurt.
Use online matchmaking services to your advantage
There are so many sites and apps out there that it can be overwhelming when you first start looking for love online.
But spotting potential partners is much easier if you know what to look for, which leads me to my next point: dating site selection.
It’s essential to find a platform and one that caters specifically to the type of relationship you’re interested in finding.
Make sure you are living your life for yourself, not others
Here’s the thing: you can’t live for others. This goes back to what I was saying about knowing what you want in a relationship and not wasting someone else’s time because they don’t fit that criterion.
Keep your life moving forward with or without another person by your side but keep an open mind too. If it happens, great; if not, no big deal.
It helps to be picky when narrowing down potential partners but remember that there is plenty of fish out there, so make sure you’re giving everyone enough attention before deciding on who makes the cut (no pun intended).
Give people multiple chances instead of immediately judging them based on their appearance or first impression. It might sound clichéd, but love comes in all shapes and sizes, and sometimes it takes a few dates to figure that out.
What signs should you lookup for?
Once you have found someone who meets your criteria, it’s essential to see if there is potential for a relationship. Ask yourself the following questions.
- Are they respectful?
- Do I feel safe around them?
- Can we communicate effectively with each other?
If yes, continue building on that foundation until you’re ready to go all-in and make things official. It might seem like common sense, but everyone deserves love, so don’t neglect this step.
Don’t settle just because it seems easier than having to start over again; remember that life shouldn’t be spent chasing after people who aren’t interested in what you want.
Try not viewing something as good enough when looking at how many options are out there, so instead, try focusing on finding someone who is genuinely interested in making it work.
Setting boundaries
It’s crucial that both people know their boundaries so they can move forward without regrets.
- What do they want from the relationship?
- How often are you willing to see them outside of a date night? Once a week? Twice a month?
The more specific, the better. Remember: if this person isn’t interested in what you want, don’t waste time convincing them otherwise.
Again, it’s not worth your energy or emotional labor, and no one should make you feel like that is their goal (i.e., guilt-tripping).
Don’t let anyone take advantage of your generosity; love shouldn’t be about getting something out of another person but instead giving freely without expecting anything in return because it feels good to bring joy into someone else’s life.
There will always be people who end up disappointing us, but that doesn’t mean the experience has to be negative.
Think of it as a learning opportunity and continue moving forward with your life because you deserve happiness.
Take Action: What can you do right now?
What are some online dating sites or apps you might consider using?
Be sure to consult your friends and family for advice; it never hurts to get a second (or third, or fourth) opinion.
How can you improve yourself as a potential partner? Be honest with yourself! This is not the time to be shy — this is about taking action and finding love, so don’t hold back.
We all deserve happiness, but that won’t happen if we lose sight of what’s essential by getting caught up in someone else’s drama.
The more positive energy you put out there into the world, the better response you will receive.
It may seem like an impossible task at times, but eventually, something good will come along because life has a funny way of working itself out when two people are meant to find each other.
How will you apply what we discussed in this article today? Try setting up another date even if they seem like a good match; give them multiple chances before kicking them to the curb (no pun intended).
Sometimes people get caught up in trying not to hurt anyone’s feelings, which is admirable, but remember that feeling guilty about something isn’t worth it, especially when there could potentially still be someone out there who is interested in what you want and vice versa.
“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”
― Andre Gide, Autumn Leaves
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The Bottom Line
In conclusion, please make sure both parties are on the same page when going further into a relationship with each other is concerned and what they want from their significant other in general.
In addition, don’t neglect to put yourself first because there will always be options available if one doesn’t work out or isn’t suited for your needs/wants.
Experimenting with multiple platforms can help narrow things down more quickly but keep your standards high enough so nobody gets hurt along the way.
Life shouldn’t revolve around the next person you go out with because that’s not what life is about. It should be spent living it to its fullest potential, no matter who is by your side as a partner in crime along the way.
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This post was previously published on Medium.
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