Entering a new year when you share your life with a partner means you get to create New Year’s intentions as a couple. Have you ever done this?
Here is one mindful ritual that you can use to build intentions for the upcoming year. I say “intentions” because they are the ways you intend to behave, the ways you intend to feel, and the ways that you intend to act in order to create the life and conditions you want.
First, create a time where both of you are able to be present and are both excited to co-create these intentions. You may need to create two time slots: one for the brainstorm (steps 1 & 2) and one for solidification (step 3).
Second, spend some time brainstorming the answers to the following questions. In the brainstorm, just get all the ideas out. Someone take notes.
- A year from now, how do we want to feel in our relationship? (ex: content, connected)
- A year from now, what do we want to have experienced in our relationship? (ex: travel, intimacy, shared experiences)
- A year from now, what do we want to have created in our relationship or as a couple? (ex: business, new house, financial stability)
Congratulations! This is some amazing brainstorming! Thank one another. Let one another know that you are so looking forward to the year ahead as a couple. Look into one another’s eyes. Be present. How amazing that you get to spend the next year with this person. If your relationship hasn’t been going very well, then how amazing is it that in this moment, you are coming together to resolve that you will show up to the process, whatever that means.
Third, create your intentions from each category. Ask yourself this question: what actions steps will each intention require??
For example, if you said that one year from now, you wanted to feel connected to your partner, then your intention might sound like, “We intend to foster connection in our relationship in 2019 by creating weekly dates without distraction, making breakfast together on Sundays, and making love at least once a week.”
I will say that If your relationship is ending in 2019, you can still set intentions for a graceful separation. You can create conscious intentions that may sound like, “We intend to end our relationship gracefully by maintaining weekly family meetings at the time of the week that we exchange our children.”
Neither partner should feel pressured. If you do, you’re doing it wrong. Back up and start over. This should feel enlivening. You want each of you to be invested so you can both be eager to carry out the intentions without either holding the other responsible or creating any pressure. You can each hold one another lovingly responsible for carrying out your intentions. You’re doing this together.
There are things you both want, there are next-levels to step toward, and there is an ever-improving connection to be had. Happy New Year to you and your beloved. May you be blessed.
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