Since COVID began, our lives have been put on pause from socializing with friends and dating if we want to stay safe. Definitely not an environment for dating.
Don’t be in such a hurry and wanting. If you were supposed to be in a relationship, you would be. So many couples right now are taking a pause.
There will be plenty of time in your life to focus on what you can do later.
Spend time focusing on what you can best do now.
It’s a good time to work on You. Because if you were to get in a relationship, you won’t get the same quality alone time back. There are couples who dream about having their freedom back…
Those nostalgic days when they did what they wanted when they wanted without reporting or compromising to someone else, sharing stories with their friends.
Embrace your singleness. When this pandemic is over, you may just find yourself in a different scenario.
With a Post-COVID girl or guy that could be better than pre-pandemic. What your partner may look like…
Someone less trying to impress with fashion and what’s on the outside, and more concerned with who they and you are.
Someone who is:
Thoughtful, kind, and appreciative (for the opportunity to meet you)
Self-controlled (as their life and yours has been shaken)
Evolved (with character growth)
More purposeful about life
You won’t be so concerned with if the person greets you with a hug or a handshake when meeting for the first time. If a blind meeting, you’ll have more conversations beforehand which means you will get to know the person better, before jumping in heart first.
And you’ll learn what they did during the pandemic, an automatic conversation starter.
Everyone will have learned social distancing, so you’ll learn a thing or two about your future mate on how they handled their life during the pandemic, and if they won’t cut the mustard based on how they obey or disobey these unwritten rules according to how you believe they should be performed for comfortability.
Values will be put on the table sooner as life is fragile and time is precious.
You’ll think twice before getting into a relationship, as you’re used to being alone in isolation. You’ll be more choosy. The choice being whether to date or not. And not so much, which person to date.
As you will also have developed deeper who you are becoming.
These are 5 activity areas you could focus on to becoming a better you for a future relationship:
1.Life Skill Activities.
When you get in a relationship, you’ll have less you-time. Now while you have time, you could learn how or create habits to clean better, organize, cook and budget.
If you clean every other day, you won’t have to clean as hard weekly. And you can walk around your house, barefoot.
If you put things back, you won’t have the accumulating disease and can find what you need when you need.
Since you’re spending less money besides on food and household needs, budgeting is simpler. You’re not having to add categories such as clothing, entertainment, vacation, etc.
You can stick to your budget that will feed subliminal success messages to your mind.
If you learn how to cook your own meals, you could impress a future mate that you can make 10 separate meals with the same rice or pasta in your cupboard.
When you have life needed skills under control, you feel better mentally. You can rest better (and be a better you).
Start or continue eating healthy and treating your body right, in your home. If you were used to eating out and working out at the gym before the pandemic, learn to do things better at home.
Experiment with healthy cooking recipes and eating healthy. People are learning to make their own pasta and bread that could last beyond stay-at-home orders.
You develop tasty variety, and can control how much unhealthy and fattening ingredients you add.
Work on your workout routine in case you don’t go back to the gym ever or anytime soon. You may prefer your new routine over traveling to the gym or paying a monthly fee.
Besides bathing every day, you could be deep cleaning with a scrubbing mitt and not just taking a quick shower. Cleaning every ounce of your body is taking care of yourself, and appreciating what you have.
You could also be finding the best products to take care of your face, hair, teeth, skin, body, hands, and feet.
4. Building Your Self-Habits Activities.
Work more on your mind and attitude than your physical appearance. Now is a great time as no one is concerned with fashion or getting dolled up for an occasion.
Work on your self-control and self-discipline. Stop cursing (or a bad habit), drink less, and watch less television or Netflix.
Quit your childish habits that a partner will find annoying like twirling your hair or doing the same dance you did in your teens. If you’re mature, you won’t want an immature mate. Evolved people want grown ups as partners.
See how you’re playing your old ways out during this pandemic. If you’re going out to the grocery store more than once a week because that’s what you did pre-pandemic or there’s no where else to go as most other businesses are closed, then you could be focusing on the wrong areas.
Work on being unselfish, kind and gentle. You know if you were self-absorbed before the pandemic started, now is a great time to practice feeling compassion with those losing loved ones and jobs.
Self-aware and stop your old patterns of destruction. If you were someone who pushed your agenda on others, made others uncomfortable, or went to funerals because it’s something to do. That’s sad.
Reflect and change your life motivations. Noticing your bad habits and changing them will make you a better mate.
Work on your contentment and peace. Be happy with what you have and what you can do. You’ll probably notice there are silver linings everywhere you look. You can have found new ways to appreciate your life with new hope, joy and peace.
And that creates less wanting. Especially for a new relationship. You can find you enjoy your time alone. And your time communicating with others.
You have balance. Nothing is missing.
Work on your anxiety and fear.
When a bee lands on you, one tactic not to get stung is to stay very still without moving. You’re just breathing, conscious that one little twitch or movement sign of fear could result in a bee sting. And you’re rewarded when the bee flies away suddenly as your skin offers nothing sweet. And you’re back to peace.
You’ve learned how to deal with your fear in that moment. You can learn the same now and that could be from knowing what to do from your past. When you’re triggered (like a bee arriving), then you automatically change to calm and how to avoid pain. And that’s avoiding fear.
5. Free-time Activities.
When you’re by yourself, you have free time to let your mind wander. You could read a book. Or knit. Or partake in hundreds of activities of your choice.
Now months into isolation, you have new activities that you’re getting smarter with or good at.
If you do physical activities like run or bicycle, you think less, as you have to focus on your steps or the ground.
If you find activities where you can multi-task like cleaning, cooking, walking or yoga, you can use those times to figure out what you want your life to look like.
If you have moments of boredom, that’s an indicator that your life is missing purpose or joy in life that has nothing to do with a partner. You could just be passing time and not effectively.
When life is good, you’re multi-tasking with complementary physical and mental activities because you have a limited 24 hours, so you’ve found a better way to get more done.
Use this time to become balanced and whole and find what inspires you, so you can share that with a future partner.
Find out or track where your time is spent. You could learn what you want to keep after the pandemic and how you could keep those activities if a partner were to enter your life.
And when you meet someone worthwhile, you can share stories and laugh together about how your hours were spent during the pandemic.
This post was previously published on Hello, Love and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Photo credit: Renato Abati