Between Opening Day in MLB, The NCAA Final Four and amazing feats on the soccer pitch, this is a golden time for sports.
1. Baseball Been Berry Berry Good To Me: Opening Day!
And so it begins. Every team full of hope and promise, playing on a sun-dappled field of green green grass.
Or something like that.
Whether you are a true fan of the game, a die-hard [insert-favorite-team-here] fan, or more of a game-within-the-game fantasy baseball player, there is something wonderful and magical about Opening Day.
The Week nailed it in its coverage of why we take such glee in baseball’s season beginning:
The very superfluousness and get-along-go-along nature of baseball makes it a source of refuge from the rest of the world that I live in, a world that seems so contentious and anxious. Baseball allows me to have something to talk about with my oldest friends and new acquaintances alike. The abundance of baseball games — more than 10 times the regular season of football — means that for months you can watch them sleepily. A baseball game, even a mid-season loss, can be kind of fun and rejuvenating, where professional football losses leave their fans feeling exhausted and anxious. There’s an ease to baseball.
And yes, we know, we know. Not all of us are gleeful. And in homage to those people, we hereby admit that for many there may be a small kernel of satirical truth in the Onion’s terrific headline: Nation Already Sick of Baseball:
Three innings into opening day and I was completely bored to death,” said 36-year-old Michael Simpkins, echoing the sentiment of the entire U.S. populace while expressing that he could not wait for the tedious MLB season to finally end. . . . At press time, the nation was reportedly reading articles on the NFL Draft and asked reporters to let them know who won the World Series.
2. Wisconsin Beats Kentucky! And Then . . . Loses To Duke.
It’s a wild crazy ride, that March Madness, isn’t it?
On Saturday night, Wisconsin fans were painting Madison red. Frank “The Tank” Kaminsky was approaching Will Ferrell on the fame-and-recognizability scale, and Sam Dekker was going Biblical on Kentucky’s ass. Sure, I don’t know exactly what that last one means, but it feels right, doesn’t it?
Who could stop the hyper-efficient offense and gritty defense of the Men from Wisconsin? No one, thought we. In fact, we even used an extremely scientific methodology to predict the result of the National Championship Game, and it came up with Wisconsin. But nay. It was not to be.
Because our algorithm failed to take into account Duke’s choir-boy cum assassin, Grayson Allen, the unheralded mighty mite, who took Duke upon his shoulders for much of the second half of their ultimate victory over the Badgers. That’s right. It was Allen and fellow Freshman Guard, Tyus Adams, leading the way. The pair combined for 39 points, on a dazzling array of drives to the hoop, deft shots in traffic, and long range bombs. Jahlil Okafor who?
It was a Laettner-esque clutch performance.
Hey Christian! Brandon from Beverly Hills 90210 called. He wants his look back.
Sigh. Duke. Again.
But chin up Arizona, Wisconsin and Kentucky fans, and – well… – all college basketball fans except you Duke fans. There are ways to cope with the heartache of Bigtime Sports Loss:
Is it your fault that no matter what defense Arizona deployed Wisconsin just kept making it rain like they were a newly minted millionaire at the strip club? I mean Sam Dekker would just catch the ball and shoot. I swear sometimes he wasn’t even looking at the basket. He was looking at the closest mirror to make sure his hair was still in one beautiful piece.
But I digress.
You can only do so much. Love is a two way street and sometimes when the love isn’t returned you have to just chalk it up to experience and move on. Don’t torture yourself, you’re not the problem. You’re great, just the way you are.
3. Christiano Ronaldo Scores Five Goals In a Game. FIVE!
Finally, the big news out of the world of soccer (you know, futbol) was Christiano Ronaldo’s ridiculous goal-scoring-binge in Real Madrid’s victory over Granada. Here they are:
“Cristiano is a phenomenon,” said his teammate Karim Benzema. “He is always on the lookout for goals and ways of helping the team.”
Photo Credit: Associated Press/File