I hate needles. This fact is why I’m extra proud to tell my story.
Four months ago, I gave blood for the first time at the blood drive my school’s Red Cross club sets up every fall.
For decades I had watched students half my age give “the gift of life” while I sat in my class feeling like the cowardly lion. However, my daughter motivated me this year to do the right thing.
Remember I told you the drive was set up by my school’s Red Cross club? Well, my sixteen-year-old daughter is vice president.
Talk about pressure.
She wants to be a nurse one day, and I guess that’s one of the reasons she guilt-tripped me until I agreed to go. Her words? “You’re O negative, Mom. You’re the ‘universal donor.’ Everyone can use your blood.”
Then, she hit me with the big guns. She mentioned my father’s Myeloma (It’s a cancer of the blood.)
“Mom, what if Papa needed the blood? If no one donated, think of what might happen to him.” (I melted like butter on a hot skillet.)
I signed up, and finally, the dreaded day arrived.
They lay me down and put a needle in my vein. I’m sure there was a mechanism collecting the blood, but I refused to look anywhere except out the window.
At one point, my anxiety got the best of me, and I started to call someone over and tell them to take that damn needle out of my vein ASAP.
Then I started thinking about how my blood might save someone’s life. At that moment, my whole physical and emotional landscape changed.
I felt like a hero. After all, I overcame my fears to help a nameless, faceless person.
However, I felt more than simply heroic. I felt euphoric.
All because I unselfishly did something for someone else.
And this, my friend, is the simple secret to happiness. It’s all about making others’ lives better.
The best anti-depressant of all
Leo Buscaglia said:
“It’s not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something. May I suggest that it be creating joy for others, sharing what we have for the betterment of personkind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely.”
All my life, I practiced Buscaglia’s words. The problem was I only practiced half of them. For example, Buscaglia states, “We should be determined to live for something.”
And I was definitely determined to live for something.
Myself. My bank account. Teacher of the year.
However, those yearnings only made me miserable. It was an exhausting cycle of trying to prove myself worthy, valuable, and important.
As a result of my dedication to these goals, I was depressed and disheartened. Anxious and agitated. Stressed and obsessed.
The truth is we’re all looking for the magic pill that’s going to make us happy. Some think they’ll find it in money. Others think they’ll find it in prestige.
However, real happiness comes when we work for something other than money.
The happiness pill
You’ll be glad to know the cure for unhappiness involves no nasty-tasting medicine. No bitter horse-sized pills to swallow.
It only involves doing something nice for someone else.
Some ideas?
- Stop and give a compliment to a stranger.
- Let a single mother with two screaming kids jump ahead of you in the checkout line.
- Bring in doughnuts and coffee for your coworkers.
- Write an email to a coworker telling them how awesome they are.
- Pay the bill of the person after you in the drive-thru.
- Call a friend who’s been having a hard time “just to talk.”
- Visit an older family member and ask for their advice. Maybe even listen, really listen, to what they have to say.
- Make today all about someone special. Order their favorite takeout and watch their favorite movie. Buy their favorite sweet treat for afterward.
- Go to an animal shelter. Give some love-starved fur babies a little human interaction.
There are infinite ways to spread love and kindness. Use my tips or come up with some ideas on your own. I promise you’ll make two people’s days: someone else’s and your own.
The bottom line:
Stephen Richard writes: “When you reach out to those in need, do not be surprised if the essential meaning of something occurs.”
Well, I’m preparing you ahead of time.
Something will occur. You’ll find the true way to be happy.
You’ll smile more often. You’ll worry less about being “that guy,” “that girl,” or anyone in between. You’ll experience a profound sense of gratitude, and you’ll love yourself more than you ever thought you could.
And that’s a win-win, right?
You bet it is.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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