Listen to the Self.
That’s the advice this morning from ‘Language Of Letting Go’ by Melodie Beattie. Life is complicated and messy. At times, all the stability you have is to understand how you feel about it all and to align with your intention as you advance.
In times of great uncertainty, it takes a courageous heart to keep taking the next step forward.
The recent election in the USA has seen turning of the narrative of strife and struggle; crisis, into healing, and working together. That’s very welcome. The truth is that we’re not out of the woods yet. There are many crises that humanity is navigating at the moment.
I’m hoping that the narrative of collectivity, interbeing, and healing will project the USA. This country holds a lot of cultural influence. Hopefully, this will help the world into a more cooperative state and stop the spread of polarisation and radical rhetoric.
I was impressed with the empathy that Biden displayed in his address — saying that the job of the president is to serve those that didn’t vote for him, as much as the people that did.
In this way, hopefully, he can inspire many people to understand what it is that they need to do to contribute to the cooperation over issues such as the racist structures, climate change, and polarisation.
In times of stress, your body activates into the sympathetic mode; it’s a response that you use to find and react to danger in your environment, and get yourself to safety.
In times gone passed, it was possible to distract yourself from world politics, or health, money, and racism. Now it’s everywhere. That stress has become part of the everyday world.
Returning to resting-state; where you feel safe, has now become a necessity that requires you to make an active choice. That necessity requires you to understand the stress stimulus, exactly how much you’re in danger, and how it might have meaning for you.
Align to progress over perfection. Stay curious. Know that learning in this life is never over; there’s always more to learn.
Even experts in a subject. There’ll always be an expansion; another angle to come from to expand your awareness.
Take music; for example, I’ve been a musician since I was six years old. I’ve built up a good understanding of how it’s formed, the way it’s written, and all the different genres — the best musicians who play those different styles.
Then there’ll be one more person who will take that style and add their unique flavour to it. There’s always more to learn through that energy.
Creativity is a great way to get to know your Self, as it flows through you in different tones and voices.
To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou ‘canst not then be false to any man.
~ William Shakespeare ~
A great intention. You can’t be false to any human. The number one thing in people-pleasing behaviour that is detrimental is that it can force you to do something that goes against your values and purpose. That’s fine if it’s one decision, however, if it’s a way of life, then it’ll start to erode your sense of self-trust.
Trust in yourself is learning to live with the sense of the gravity of your decisions and aligning to decisions that empower you to be the best version of yourself. To surround yourself with empowering environments; people, places, spaces.
There’s an environment that allows you to progress in whatever it is that you want whether it be recording a song, getting a high paying job, or surrounding yourself with supportive, co-creative, relationships.
Melody Beattie describes how this can be a challenge:
We can even convince ourselves that people-pleasing, going against our nature and not being honest, is the kind, honest thing to do!
It can be a challenge to remain true to yourself, and it can require open conversations, and learning about some of the trickiest things in life; forgiveness, grief, hardship, loss.
This needs the courage to be vulnerable.
You won’t always get what you want, and you won’t always change the person that you want to change. At times, they won’t be able to meet your needs, and that’ll hurt. Being able to sit with those feelings and parent yourself around them, then show up in honest and kind communication, is highly rewarding.
It’s this that ensures trust — using the voice.
Not necessarily getting your way; living in a world where you get everything; where your agenda is completely satisfied because that world is achieved by bullying, control, and tyranny. It can only be projection, coming from a denial state, it can’t be fully true.
It’s essential to know that you are part of something bigger, that there are things that you need to flow.
David Hawkins, states another thing about this dynamic:
We can learn another one of the laws of consciousness: Fear is healed by love.
It’s not going through the fear that will get you to outcome you want, it’s creating space enough to respond in love.
There’s usually a pang of complicated feeling in me when I know I’m saying something that doesn’t align with myself, that is not my truth. I know how hard it can be for some to speak truth; mostly if you’ve grown up in homes with strong characters, or abusive situations. It’s not necessarily big decisions either; the small choices stack up.
If someone you love asks you if you want a cup of tea, and you don’t, how do you respond?
Do you:
- Feel that you would like to please them, so you take the tea?
- Do you thank them for the offer and decline?
- Do you say no in a stressed-out way?
- Do you get aggy with them, telling them that they know that you don’t like tea?!
These are the seemingly simple decisions that can keep us stuck in life — compromising our self-worth.
The second option above is aligning to self-trust, and you’ll be surprised, your loved one will probably understand and offer you something that you want. The question comes from love and a willingness to serve.
What’s something in your life that you could bring this mindset?
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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