The First Step Toward Self-Knowledge Is Realizing You Don’t Have It

You think you know yourself, but you don’t. You never have self-knowledge; you gain it gradually, sometimes painfully.

You throw punches in the air until you gain self-knowledge.

Pretending you don’t sabotage yourself is like nursing on Xanax.

Misjudgment:

You have the impression that you know yourself because you live with yourself. But you’re blind to some of your strengths, weaknesses, and inclinations.

You see yourself in a steamy mirror. You see clearly only on the edges.

You consistently misjudge yourself.

Growth:

Jung believed you have negative and positive attributes that you don’t see, a shadow self.

Growth happens when you catch a glimpse of your shadow self.

People light up when they realize they have abilities they hadn’t seen. You grow when you exercise untapped abilities. You also grow when you see things you don’t like in yourself, if you own them.

When I was young, I didn’t see my own self-centeredness. I’m still self-centered but seeing myself is an opportunity to move toward other-centeredness.

I have negative ‘talents’ I don’t like. If arrogance is a talent, I’m wildly talented. Giving second chances feels unnatural, but anger is second nature. I’m inclined to talk before I listen and make judgements quickly.

I don’t want to be my darker self, but sometimes I am.

My inclination toward arrogance fuels my interest in humility. The first step was catching glimpses of my shadow self. Others helped me see.

You see a foreshadowing of yourself when you catch a glimpse of your shadow self.

Growth begins when you own untapped abilities or self-destructive inclinations.

You learned to walk when you realized you were crawling.

Tips:

Complacency about self-awareness today becomes vengeance tomorrow.

Self-knowledge requires others.

You learn who you are when you reveal yourself to another.

This post was previously published on LEADERSHIPFREAK.BLOG and is republished with Creative Commons license.

Some Thoughts About “The Dark Night of the Soul”

Everyone descends into the dark night of the soul a time or two or three. Some absorb the darkness. Others rise. This post is about the difference.

The difference between everyday blues and the underworld is you’re alone. Encouraging words from friends feel like skipping stones on a frozen pond.

The dark night of the soul:

Recurring disappointment leads to lost hope. Doubt steals confidence. Courage quivers in a corner. You wrestle with yourself at night.

“The dark night of the soul comes just before revelation. When everything is lost, and all seems darkness, then comes the new life and all that is needed.” Joseph Campbell

Rising through darkness:

#1. Face the darkness.

Rising from your dungeon has nothing to do with others and everything to do with you. Others point the way, but the path is narrow.

#2. Beware disaster:

Blame is the messenger of disaster. The journey is about you, no one else. Not a lousy team. Not the person who overlooked you.

You lose yourself under scabs of disappointment you won’t let go.

#3. Battle yourself.

Achievement and success are dangerous when they obscure reality. Disillusionment reveals the truth.

The external world drags you into discouragement, but the real battle is with yourself. Why rise in the first place? Why try again?

You see yourself best in the dark.

#4. See yourself.

You find freedom when you rise through the dark night of the soul.

You see yourself best in the dark. Something happens when you feel like giving up – that only happens there. You realize you do what you do because it’s who you are.

When you win, glory obscures the reason you run. When you don’t win, you learn the truth.

You run the race because it’s in you.

What has the dark night of the soul taught you?

Still curious:

The Path to Authentic Leadership Often Misses 1 Key Ingredient

What does “Choose How You Show Up” Really Mean and Who Cares

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This post was previously published on LEADERSHIPFREAK.BLOG and is republished with Creative Commons license.

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