The gift of love is the feelings we get when we have fallen in love. It is the love that is celebrated in poetry and song, the love depicted in romantic movies, novels, and fairytales. It is a gift because it is given freely and requires no effort. The gift of love happens when two people deliciously open to each other, explore their unfamiliar bodies, share past histories, and declare their love.
The work of love begins as the intoxication of the gift begins to wear off. The work must take place in order to nurture love and make it grow. The work involves effort and action– listening attentively when your partner is talking, being honest, speaking kindly, being a helpmate, making compromises. Though it is work, it can be joyful work rather than hard work. It’s not hard work to rub your beloved’s shoulders when they are tense, tend to them when they are sick, compromise in order to make them happy. No! It’s simply being a loving companion.
The fruit of love is the enduring love that is the result of doing the work of love. That fruit is the warmth, ease and comfort of well-worn love, the knowledge you will be accepted in all your glory and all your misery, the certainty that you will always be supported in the face of adversity, and the building of a shared life together. These delicious fruits will not be possible without putting in the required work.
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