Why you shouldn’t tell survivors of childhood sexual abuse that they must accept God in order to heal or find peace.
Warning: This post contains descriptions of abuse that may be triggering for some readers.
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Warning: This post contains descriptions of abuse that may be triggering for some readers.
W.R.R. is a survivor of 18 years of sexual abuse and torture. He started writing poetry at a very young age to escape the horrors of his life. His writing gives the reader a true glimpse into the psyche of a struggling survivor. He recently put his efforts into becoming an advocate, focusing on public awareness of the impact on survivors who endured incest, child sexual abuse, and human trafficking, as well as letting other survivors know that they are not alone. W.R.R. lives in the Houston area with a new family that love and support him on his healing journey every day. His hope is to write a book to share his story. His essays and poetry can be found at www.asashesscatter.com and he can be found at @AsAshesScatter on Twitter.
It’s scary how widespread using religion to justify abuse seems to be. Makes me furious to the core whenever I see this. Knowing people who are very dear to me who have been in similar circumstances, I get angry just hearing about these stories. Anyway, just letting you know that you’re doing a fantastic thing sharing your experiences with other people and letting anyone else who’s been through this that they are not alone. I know that’s not much consolation at all, but I don’t know how else to express that without being accidentally offensive, as a few of these… Read more »
Bravo, seems magnificent idea to me is
Dianna, I am sorry that any abuse has touched your life; I wish the world were as free of abuse as so many blindly insist it is, because they can’t accept any other worldview. I have seen so many denials of abuse and excuses for why this or that wrong is not abusive. All we can do is work on healing and recovery, and if we are able, lend a voice to help educate others. The most important thing for us is to remove abuse from our lives, so that we can be safe as we begin to heal. Thank… Read more »
Sharing experiences is a help – is it not?
I live in Australia and don’t spend a lot of time on this website, but it is wonderful that people from different nations can find their humanity with others from anywhere on this small blue world.
I apologise, I could not read to the end of your article, W.R.R. I had never experienced any type of abuse by a supposedly trusted person until I married. Nor was I made to believe I was sinful in the name of religion. Your courage in writing is yet another step towards outing abusers and I thank you for that. On another thread a couple of men are trying to justifying the portrayal of an anime girl being struck by a male fist. Perhaps they would do better to read your article instead. People will justify abuse in any way… Read more »
Thank you, Jessica, for your kindness. Helping others makes all that I do worth it.
Good luck on your journey. I wish you peace and hope and love. There is nothing that can be said that can undo it but–thank you for being brave enough to want to help others.
Mike, Copyleft, and Leia, thank you. James, I am going to hope your intention is to help, even though my entire point was that religious talk triggers me. Obviously you believe strongly in your faith. Please understand that I do not share that faith. You may “offer up” a suggestion, and as I can sense it comes from a good intent, I will say thank you, at least for your acknowledgement that some members of your religion are liars and abusers. However, I avoid religion and not accept that it can help me. All it has ever done is rape… Read more »
You are an incredible person, WRR. I suffered religious abuse as well, though nowhere near to your extent. You have managed to convey something I have been struggling to voice for years, when well meaning relatives and friends talk about g-d to me.
May you find peace and happiness.
I’m so glad I didn’t just read the headline and go on from there. I am so sorry that someone that in the name of God abused his authority and distorted the beauty and healing of the Gospel. I fully agree that just wrapping a spiritual platitude over abuse is weak and very much insensitive. I would offer up that yes, after getting to know someone’s situation and fully walking through the pain, it is very much important to see the healing and restoring that God provides. No, he’s not like the fallen earthly examples that so often fail, or… Read more »
“He called it ‘passing his sins into me’…”
How horrible, and yet powerful, your writing is…I am grateful that you could put this into words…so eerie how abusers hide their secret shame and desires and blame their victims (as if it were their fault for inciting their desire)….So sick and two-faced people like these are! Listening to religious ministers lecture on TV makes me nauseous (ie., Jimmy Swaggert and Jessica Hahn’s infamous preacher)….it just seems people like that are just trying to create a smokescreen for their real down and dirty activities….
It’s a curiously contradictory message to give a child: “You need to get over your abuse, but you’re sinful and worthless and can do nothing without an authority figure to make you better. Now stop crying.”
I agree, demanding that survivors forgive is abusive. People can chose not to forgive if they want, and the abuser has to change and become worthy of forgiveness. Also on the god front; My abuse was purely secular, the paedophile was a “good Christian”, but a lot of people are “good Christians”. However I agree that god is abusive, he endorses rape and child abuse, just read the bible. Demanding that followers kill their children, offer their daughters to be raped, condoning genocide ect… I’d rather rot in hell than bow to someone like that. you might enjoy this site.… Read more »