The lenses that build up our way of seeing the World are made up of experiences, emotions and thoughts. They are the ones forging our memories and our emotional connection to life.
That Mantra that we are empowered to transform ourselves is based on this principle. Because the world and people can change several times and we may simply not even realize it if we haven’t adapted our way of looking at them.
But this transformation does not happen quickly, by the way… nor is there time to it.
Life has its own time. As long as we live, we will be changing, one way or another. Consciously or not.
Before you want to know how to organize and be prepared to a difficult conversations with the little ones, about death, divorce, big challenges, first talk to yourself.
Listen. Feel the emotions that each word brings to you. Find the paths of comfort and acceptance in what is said. And believe in every comma you put in your sentences. Take your time to be aware of your understanding and how you feel about it.
It is the adult’s inner world that feeds the child’s inner world. We are the translators of life and we cannot be absent from this role that elevates the lie or disguises a reality.
Children need our emotional honesty because our feelings are to our kids’ life as a bank is to a river. Pay attention to your words, if necessary seek for help from professionals to build a honest dialogue with you and your family.
Look at your child and be aware that more important than knowing what’s going on, he or she needs to feel that everything is going to be okay. That you are there, listening to their feelings.\
Be present to the point of understanding their looks and thoughts more than their words, more than gestures. Because when we turn off autopilot to turn on our awareness one’s look or smile is enough.
Therefore, practice self-looking as a daily habit and take care of your emotions, which often speak louder and paviment the way our children observe the world and observe themselves by changing YOU. Love yourself. Be your own best friend.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
 White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism |
 Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
 The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
 |
—
Photo credit: iStockPhoto.com
