A man in his 50s buys a new Ferrari, gets a divorce, starts dating a much younger woman and quits his job to travel to Hawaii. What are the neighbors going to say? Probably something along the lines of “he’s going through a midlife crisis.” Though some people treat this troubling behavior as a joke or as not serious, there is actual psychological backing behind this
It comes down to mortality. Many people find that when they hit their 40s, 50s, and 60s, they begin to see “the end of the tunnel,” so to speak. This time in your life may have you questioning previous life choices, wondering about the future, and lacking spontaneity in your life. For people with children, this is also often a time when they are older and self-sufficient. This gives a parent less to worry about financially and emotionally, but can also leave people with spare time to fill. This can lead to boredom, restlessness, and lots of time to think.
If you think that you or a loved one is experiencing a midlife crisis, therapy can be a great way to work through complicated emotions. Online therapy, like sessions offered through BetterHelp, can be a great option for people who are looking to seek out therapy from the comfort of their home. It’s a good idea to reach out for support before making impulsive decisions, altering life circumstances irrationally, or making large purchases.
It’s Not All For Show
The behavior of a person who is experiencing a midlife crisis may seem reckless and impulsive to the outside eye. Some people think that people that are going through this change in their life are doing so for attention, or to prove something to others. The truth is, many people going through this experience are doing the opposite. They are acting in ways to prove things to themselves.
There is some truth in the idea that people experiencing a midlife crisis are trying to regain aspects of their youth in doing so. Many people will try to fulfill lifelong ambitions and dreams in order to alleviate regrets they had when they were younger. This is part of the reason why a person buying their “dream car” is often associated with a midlife crisis. A person who is experiencing this may be more likely to feel jealous of people who seem to have more time to accomplish their goals, and experience envy of friends and family members who appear to be more successful than them.
There are very real symptoms that occur in a midlife crisis. These include: regret, a change in sexual desire, jealousy, heightened emotions, and questioning of identity. Though a person may initially deal with these symptoms internally, without finding ways to express these feelings, they may find themselves acting out in other ways. Since there are cultural stigmas that suggest men should repress their feelings, it can be more common for men to act out rather than explore their emotions effectively.
Though some people think of a midlife crisis as a rite of passage, in actuality only around 10% of men actually experience this in their life. There are many ways that you can reshape your mentality about midlife experiences, and find other healthy coping strategies to move through transitional time periods. Many studies also show that people in this age range can be more content than when they were younger. People tend to feel more settled and grounded in their lives, and it’s less likely for them to have to deal with tumultuous stressors that can affect their day-to-day life.
Factors To Consider
Not all men are susceptible to a midlife crisis experience, and there are factors that can help you figure out why you may be feeling pushed in this direction. People with underlying mental health disorders, such as depression, may be more likely to experience a midlife crisis. It’s also common for people who have a history of “unfinished business” to be more likely to act out on impulsive behavior when they reach midlife. This is also true for people who historically put their needs below the needs of others.
Relationship problems and conflict can be a jumping-off point for a midlife crisis as well. Going through conflict, a separation, or divorce can be traumatizing. It can also lead to people questioning their life decisions, and who they have become in their relationship.
Accepting Mortality In The Future, But Not Today
Though mortality can be daunting, it’s promised. It can be difficult to accept that death eventually takes us all, especially since it’s one of the only things that we have no control over. Finding ways to accept mortality can give you the freedom to enjoy the days ahead of you. Regardless of your age, life is worth living, and it still has more to offer you. Try to find ways to explore new interests, heal old wounds and stay excited about tomorrow.
For many people who experience a midlife crisis, therapy and lifestyle changes are necessary. Rather than changing everything about the way you live your life, think of small changes you can make that will help you feel enthusiastic, motivated, and accomplished. Find new hobbies, seek out support and make new goals for yourself. And if you can afford your dream car? No one’s saying doesn’t buy it! Just make sure you’re making decisions for the betterment of today, and not based on regrets from the past.
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