I don’t want to seem like I duped everyone into reading this article but there isn’t a singular “key” to happiness. Life is made up of experience after experience — some positive and some negative. The way we respond to these experiences is how we truly determine our own happiness in life.
Patience
Patience really is a virtue but I think some people miss the entirety of the concept. Patience doesn’t refer to simply sitting back and waiting for things to get better. Patience is doing what needs to be done to get through the good times and the bad. Knowing there will always be an up after the down you’re going through makes the downs easier to bear. Understanding that only you are in charge of your life gives you the control to pull yourself out of a slump.
Patience isn’t a passive practice. Patience should be exercised by constantly working towards your goals and passions. Patience is working hard and achieving small victories to get where you want, slowly but surely.
Surround yourself with positivity
Positivity begets more positivity. And I don’t want to come off as some hippie, happiness guru who thinks there is only room for positivity in our lives. The goal is to be around more positivity than negativity.
Scientifically, when we begin to analyze life with a positive lens, it becomes easier for our brains to think in a positive way. It’s the way our brain works — the brain uses the method which has been easiest in the past to solve problems. Once we train it to utilize a positive strategy, it becomes easier and easier.
The same idea works for negativity. As we analyze things in a negative way, it becomes easier to see the negative aspects of life. It becomes easier to solve problems using a negative strategy.
Both of these ideas are based around the concept of nature following the path of least resistance. The choice we have is to train our brains to make positivity our path of least resistance. In doing so, our days shine a little brighter, we walk a little lighter, and even when we’re faced with life’s struggles, they don’t seem so bad.
Exercise, For Fuck’s Sake!
Our brains are still wired to release endorphins when we work out, when we go for a hike, when we move — because we need to move. Not only will you get the instant gratification of a little dopamine boost but, in the long run, you set yourself up for a longer, healthier life. I don’t think you need to strive to be able to bench press your own body weight or sprint up a mountain, but you should be able to take a long walk and enjoy the world around you.
Pro tip: enjoying the world around us brings our lives more happiness.
Worry about the things you can control
We are only able to control a finite amount of things in our life. You can’t control others. You can’t control where you come from. You can control where you’re going and how you deal with what life gives you along the way. Take control of what you can and make the most out of life.
Live presently and intentionally
There’s no reason to sit and stress and dwell about things in the past or distant future. Worrying about anything other than what’s happening right now is a waste of time and energy, with no gain. If you’re focused on the present, you can use your focus directly and intentionally. If what you’re doing doesn’t lead you toward your goals, is it worth your time or is it just a distraction?
The author, Simon Sinek, says to start with why. He talks about this concept in regards to building a company or brand. I think you can use this question for anything you do in life. If the answer to the question isn’t, “to achieve my goals”, do something else that will. Asking yourself, “why?” will help you live intentionally and bring your focus back to the present.
There is no perfect answer or easy fix.
Life is experienced differently by everyone and there is no key or quick fix to living happier. At the end of the day, it takes work — it takes practice. If you’re lucky, small changes can quickly lead to big results. For others, finding the specific things that bring them more happiness is harder. Whatever your situation, if you are looking for a happier life, a better mental space, a more fulfilling life — you’re going to have to put in some effort. If you really want it, you have to start your journey today and keep working towards what drives you, unapologetically.
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A version of this post was previously published on GoFindYourHappy and is republished here with permission from author.
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