“I know your secret,” said Ron, my future father in law. He was wearing a button down shirt with shorts and he was tanned. He looked ready to audition for Two and a Half Men.
“So, what’s your point?” I asked.
“What do you mean, What’s my point? I know you have schizophrenia,” he said.
An awkward pause followed. ”Jane knows. We’ve been together for five years,” I said.
“Well I know that you might be okay with that but I’m not,” he replied.
I know you have schizophrenia… Well I know that you might be okay with that but I’m not
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The door swung open and a rush of wind swept the room. “What are you guys talking about?” Jane asked.
“Tanner here, was just saying how he doesn’t love you anymore,” Ron said. I looked at him incredulously. I looked at her and I shook my head no.
She paused and her brow was wrinkled. She looked ready to cry. “What’s really going on?” she asked.
“Sweetie, we can’t have you marrying guys like Tanner. He’s a liability and it’s my job to protect you.”
“Are you talking about his illness?” she asked.
“I most certainly am,” Ron replied.
“He’s not a liability. I love him and he loves me.”
“You know he’s crazy,” Ron said. “He’s not like us.” Ron walked towards her but she held her hand out. “We’re your family and we have your best interest in mind. I’ve known you your whole life.” Ron crossed his arms as if the matter was settled.
“Why are you doing this, Dad?” Jane asked with watery eyes. “You’ve known Tanner for five years, Dad.” Silence filled the room and they could hear a car engine starting outside.
“I’ve always had your best interest in mind, sweetie. You can’t marry this, Tanner here. He’s certified crazy.”
I kept quiet and took a step aside. Ron was to my left and Jane to my right. Jane was staring at the ground in disbelief.
“Dad, the wedding is in six months,” she said.
“So you’re choosing a crazy over your family?” Ron asked. My blood was boiling. I took a deep breath to let out some steam.
“I’m not choosing anyone over anyone. I love you both,” she said with a strained voice. My heart felt like an anchor scraping along the bottom of the deepest ocean.
“Well I don’t condone this marriage so if you choose Tanner then you’ve turned your back on us.”
“Ron, what’s with all this nonsense?” I cut in. “You’ve known me for years, even before Jane and I were together.”
“I guess I didn’t know you well enough. I had an uncle with schizophrenia. I know how you people are.”
“This is ridiculous,” Jane whispered. “What is this?” she whispered. She stared at her father and looked away. Several tears dropped. “We’ll talk about this another time,” she said to him as she hooked my arm. “Tanner and I have to go shopping today.”
We had no plans to shop but I didn’t say anything.
“If that’s your choice then so be it. You won’t be welcome here anymore.”
My ears were buzzing but no one was talking.
“Daddy, I love you and you have to support my decisions,” Jane tried.
“I’ll support you with most things, but this isn’t one of them,” Ron stated.
CRACK!!! A firecracker had gone off outside and made us all jump.
Ron looked at me and I looked back at him.
“Dad, what’s so different about Tanner now?”
I have a diagnosis. That doesn’t mean that I’m crazy all the time… It just effects the way I think periodically and I get some hallucinations.
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“Well, what do you mean? Everything has changed. Don’t ya think?” Ron replied. I felt awkward standing aside while being the subject of the conversation.
“Nothing has changed, Dad. This is who he is. Tanner is Tanner and he always has been Tanner. He’s had schizophrenia for the entire time you’ve known him.”
“Well, there’s gotta be something different. He must be hiding something,” Ron replied. I rolled my eyes and almost laughed. Ron wasn’t exactly a genius.
“Ron, I have a diagnosis. That doesn’t mean that I’m crazy all the time,” I said. “It just effects the way I think periodically and I get some hallucinations. That’s it.”
“Well, we’re not having this conversation right now. I can’t deal with this!” Ron said.
“Dad, you know he’s right. You’re the one who needs to change.”
Photo by Ashley Rehnblom