To the Guy in the Club

Long weekend, Miami, beaches ~ life had everything to offer.

What else do you need to feel young?

Don’t get me wrong I am just 25 which socially still means I am young, wild and free. But I haven’t been feeling like this lately. Mostly its due to the monotonicity of life and the fact that whatever type of work you do, it becomes redundant.

But anyways here I was waiting for Steve AOKI’s concert. I was thrilled and alone.

I don’t usually quiet feel lonely or atleast relatively less lonely than the people around me. Seeing people with people made me feel alone. I knew it would go away after one drink but while waiting in the line, I desperately wanted someone to be with. Music always makes me forget everything. Even the deepest desires and quests.

My body moved in sync with every drop of sex on the beach. I didn’t feel alone, I had music and my moves with me. I knew I looked good and I felt great!

That night I met someone. Someone special. I don’t remember your name but you had green hair. We clicked with each other as soon as our eyes met. Trust me we had the same beats.

You were not persuasive. Gentle. You made me feel comfortable as we tapped our feet to don’t you worry child. I remember us feeling each other in the dark. You had abs. We were both sweaty due to the dance. But I still wanted to touch you so badly. Every bit of you. You picked me up and took me on your shoulders. We kissed in the air. How could you still smell fresh?

I asked you not to kiss my neck because I was all sweaty. But you insisted. You also tried to untangle my hair which stuck to my dress. I did not even know liking someone so soon was even possible.

We hugged. You kissed me on my forehead.

And now I strongly believe club hugs are the most dangerous. They make you fall in love.

And yes I loved you for that night. Even now as I am writing this, I can feel the feeling of being loved. I can feel your breaths and stares.

I realized how lonely I had been until this hug. Someone hugging me with love was so remote to me. I had forgotten how it felt like.

I felt alive that very moment. All humanly emotions came alive.

I had made out with other people the same night but nothing was close to when we hugged and kissed.

You said you want to marry me for the night. I even said yes.

You didnt insist on getting out of the club like all other men I met that night. Instead you asked to let you know if I wanted to get out at my own comfort level.

We danced till 6am as the club music stopped. I wanted to be with you. I also knew you wanted to be with me. You wanted to know me more. We went on the beach together. Holding hands and watching the sunrise. Reality hit us then. It was morning and time to leave. I couldn’t believe I was having a heart break. Why was this so difficult? I had just met you hours back.

But now as I am writing this 2 days after we met I know we had something real. I loved you. I miss you but I am scared if we meet again the perfect memory would not be this perfect anymore. I don’t want to alter our memory. I don’t alter us. I still want to meet again but not planned, just as a surprise. Like in a coffee shop. Maybe then we could actually know each other and talk about how we were married for one night. Maybe one day …..

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This post was previously published on Medium.

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