Have you ever stopped to think about the practicality of Trust?
What is your personal Trust model? Do you Trust other people unconditionally or do you require some sort of experience with them to start the process of developing mutual Trust?
How do you know that you Trust yourself? Do you Trust yourself to make good decisions and live a good life? Are there things that you don’t Trust yourself to do or say?
Trust is defined as believing in someone or something, having faith in someone or something, or feeling certainty about someone or something. These seem to be lofty aspirations to have Trust in our lives, yet we all have a level of Trust that we live with each day.
For as far back as I can remember, people have shared some very private information about their lives with me. The people who did this without the benefit of previous experiences were the most intriguing to me.
When I traveled extensively, I found myself sitting next to some very interesting people. Some of my flights were short and lasted less than an hour while other flights might have lasted as long as 12 hours.
No matter if it was a short flight or a long haul flight, I would invariably have a seatmate who was willing to engage in a talk with me that nearly always ended up with them sharing some personal aspect of their lives with me.
I believe in the sanctity of confidentiality and privacy so I will not reveal any of the details of any of the conversations. However, I will share that most often the topics that we discussed would normally require a high level of trust.
One might argue, the ‘anonymous’ nature of sitting next to someone on a plane might lead to a true confessions experience that would otherwise not be possible with friends or colleagues. I actually found that that was not the case, in fact, many of the seatmates and I exchanged contact information and have stayed in contact over the years building a virtual or long-distance friendship.
As an extrovert, I am humbled to have an overabundance of introverts in my life who are willing to confide in me when we meet up and talk about our lives. This seems to be another somewhat puzzling phenomenon about Trust in that introverts are typically characterized as private people.
While I observed and studied Trust as a leader throughout my corporate career, I came to many conclusions including this one. Trust might be defined by words however it is lived by intuition or experience.
There are people who Trust in ways that defy logic. Recently a plumber came into our home to make some repairs. I struck up a conversation with him that led to him telling me that he had already had the coronavirus and survived it. He also told me about his struggles with depression and anxiety that kept him from working for a year. He went deep in sharing his most poignant life experiences with me in less than ten minutes.
I can only assume that his ‘gut’ told him that he could believe in me, have faith in me, or feel certain with me. We shared a genuine connection and were there to support each other, and after all, isn’t that what most of us what anyway when we trust someone with something about ourselves?
I laugh when I think of the times when people have said to me, you have a trusting face or you make me feel safe to tell you most anything about myself. I am intrigued that this can and does lead to mutual Trust with very little if any experience.
Without the benefits that come with shared experiences, I am left to believe, have faith in, and feel certain that my Trustworthiness is a gift that I get to share with others and myself.
I have found that my Trust model has supported me as a leader all throughout my corporate career and now it serves me as a leadership coach for those who are willing and able to jump in and do the deep and meaningful work for themselves with a Trusted Mentor.
I invite you to observe Trust in your life and see what your reflections reveal to you about how you can believe in yourself, have faith in yourself, or feel certain about yourself no matter what you are doing for yourself or for other people.
When we Trust ourselves, we set a solid foundation for going on to develop the highest levels of Self-Confidence, Self-Reliance, and Self-Acceptance; which will all lead to greater satisfaction with our lives no matter what kind of year it is going to be.
Wishing you a Prosperous, Productive, and Playful 2021!!!
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