We all have those moments, we doubt our decisions, and we wonder if we took the right ones. With giving a second chance, I consistently have mixed feelings: Should I give them a second chance? Or It’s stupid to repeat the same mistake?
Until the day I released that, there is a difference between giving a second chance and trusting that person. I figure out that I can start over for two major reasons: the first would be that people grow up and change their minds.
Also, I gained a lot of experience, and maybe I am ready to fix old mistakes.
First, people change:
Those are the major reasons for this:
- Regret
They regret their critical decisions. They feel guilty and move on.
We all make mistakes and denounce them later, we do actions that sound to us meaningless, but it harms our partners. And we only figure out this later on. By that time, it’s late sometimes, and the damage is then here.
- Growth
Now, their goals align together with yours, and they are more comprehensive for your career pathway. Maybe they left you before because they could not understand how this career can feed both of you and consider it as a total failure.
- Old pain
Mental health issues and self-confidence are excuses that can help you forgive your partner: it’s difficult to go through tough experiences without being able to share them with others. We went through battles alone, and we live in a bubble where we are no more conscious that we are harming our beloved ones.
The partner was in pain or suffering from something that makes him ruin your relationship.
Huge disclaimer: We don’t tolerate violence and cheating.
Second, you changed:
With time, you will get mature and understand that you are no more the silly human you were a year ago.
You are having a new vision of life, a new perspective: Now you can tolerate things, you are open to differences. You no longer offended by what your partner says.
I can assume that you went through other experiences, and you can notice that what bothered you with your partner’s behavior is irrelevant, and you judged him hard.
Everyone goes through a lot that helps us in shaping our personalities. Every book, every movie, and every person who comes and leaves in our life, all of them have their own touch that gives us a lesson, opening our eyes towards life.
I am no longer the same person from last year, especially with the pandemic that gave us a new viewpoint on life. We are more tolerant and with some analysis; we discover that maybe we rushed to end that friendship, or what he did was coming from a place of fair of losing you or himself. Life can be harsh sometimes, and we don’t have the courage to admit that we were wrong.
We must normalize saying I am sorry when we are wrong and listen to the other side of the relationship.
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Final thoughts:
Giving a second chance does not mean in any kind that you must forgive and forget what a person did to you, after all, if you cut your relationship, I doubt that he did something wrong to you. But sometimes, you misjudged a situation, and you take it seriously, but with a lot of thinking you will end up thinking that they may need a second chance. And keep this in your mind: there are always two sides to the story.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash