Elisa tugged at my sleeve
in the fifth grade one autumn day.
I thought Ryan decided I needed
a scare. I twisted around.
Only it wasn’t Ryan; Elisa stood there
with a long face and her long, red ponytail.
This was one of those little
creatures that Mom called girls.
The fear baked into her eyes said enough
for me to not make her beg.
Elisa’s older brother forgot to walk
her home from school,
so she begged me to take
the short route with her.
Elisa said she lived three houses down from me.
I’d have known if Mom let me out of the house.
I sighed and told her to tag along.
Her third-grade teacher thanked me.
Elisa pouted, kicking rocks
and red and gold evergreen leaves,
and cursed her mother for having her brother.
I listened and held in a laugh.
If a bratty brother was the worst
of her troubles, well,
she was in for a world of trouble.
I held her hand as we crossed
a few crosswalks and a couple of blocks.
Elisa’s mom thanked me.
Elisa lived in a three-story
maroon home with white trim.
A waist-high pine fence circled
the well-edged grass.
The black labrador nipped the air,
its tongue hung to the side,
and wagged its tail.
It was the same dog
that kept me up at night.
Mom said if he barked again,
she’d come unglued and take his
head off with a shotgun.
She didn’t mean it.
Or did she?
I never knew with Mom.
I noticed Elisa played alone at lunch,
so I ditched my friends to toss the tetherball,
and we’d come to trade baseball cards.
One night, after senior prom,
I heard Mom talking, drinking wine,
and smoking a death stick.
Mom went on about her losing
if over the creatures she couldn’t steer me clear of.
Mom knew love had entered my heart before
I knew what true love was and who deserved it.
Mom mumbled to herself, or someone else,
that I deserved love.
I sat on the stairwell to the cold oak floor.
And then, I heard a voice I’d never before heard.
He told Mom he was sorry for leaving.
Dad made good money and sent Mom a lot of it,
but he forgot that money wasn’t everything.
He didn’t know how to be a father,
and her father hated him.
And Dad hated her father.
Everything and nothing made sense at the same time.
I don’t know where to go from here, but where I’ve been,
I’d return a thousand times if it led me to this moment.
I accepted the heartbreak and made it worth the trouble.
I didn’t believe in fate; hell, maybe I still don’t.
But I was at the right place at Elisa’s wrong time.
Whatever sense that makes of this, it held far more
together than time eroded with fragmented memories.
Elisa skipped two grades just to graduate with me.
Our parents attended as we walked into a new future
without a lunch monitor.
Elisa worked at a diner and took classes at a community college.
I took online courses and worked for Dad’s firm.
If her car broke down, I’d pick her up until we made a home for ourselves.
Elisa’s mother wondered what happened to their new dog.
I had Mom at the top of the list, but I shook my head,
and Mom winked.
We needed no more trouble and no more creatures.
(© 2024 AC)
(Amazon Kindle, Spillwords, The Writers Club)
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Garin Chadwick on Unsplash
