Walking Away Isn’t Always the Answer

If you’re reluctant to let go of someone even if they aren’t treating you properly, then you’re a lot like me. Sure, the world is constantly preaching self-love, self-love! Be willing to walk away in an instant when someone mistreats you. Know that there is an ocean of options out there. Develop an abundance mindset! It appears to be a very independent and powerful gesture.

However, once in a blue moon, there’s someone you just can’t get past. Someone so special, so irreplaceable, and with whom you’ve shared intense connections and unforgettable memories. Someone you might call a soulmate. They aren’t just another Tinder one-nighter or acquaintance you met at the bar at 11 P.M. on Friday. Not even a two-week fling or a year-long relationship partner. They have a different place in your heart. And to just drop someone like this over a small argument doesn’t show your high value or self-esteem or boundary. It actually makes you seem heartless.

People will tell you to move on from your partner like it’s your favorite dress that got a permanent stain or a car that broke down on you for the gazillionth time. But what if it’s your spouse of 10 years, with who you had two children? Does the same advice still apply? Of course not. It mostly fits the dating world.

When is it worth it to hold on?

In the past few stints with girls, people have urged me to leave these women. “Just forget it.” “She isn’t worth it.” “Stop being so dumb.” “What’s the point? Why are you still holding on?”

My family and friends love me. But they aren’t me. I don’t take love lightly. They don’t understand that to me. Some of these girls mean more than just someone to have fun with and fill voids with. Some of them trigger marriage thoughts. And so, dating can be a numbers game, but not always.

So should we be firm about moving on from someone who doesn’t meet our expectations? Or try to work things out no matter what. The real question is, are they worth it?

Out of our lifetime, we’ll run into someone who’s so compatible and makes our heart beat so hard that we might break our own rules and compromise a few of our standards for them. We might tolerate some things we aren’t fond of. We might give a bit more effort as opposed to moving onto the next target right away.

It’s okay to sacrifice a little for someone we’re deeply in love with because we’re ultimately serving ourselves by compromising a bit of dignity for long-term happiness.

But that’s about it. Unless they’re the love of our life, they better never cross our lines. And so, while walking away is the answer to the majority of our relationships where we feel disrespected, underappreciated, and manipulated, there are exceptions.

We’ve accelerated this breaking up process today because dating apps gave us the illusion that there will always be another one. And so, we’ve minimized the importance of one single person. We no longer invest deeply. We don’t have the patience to enjoy the fruits of our labor because the labor is too intense.

But ask ourselves, how often do we find somebody who treats us 100% the way we think we deserve all the time? And they meet our qualifications for a potential partner? Have we found that flawless spouse who never pisses us off? People will disappoint us. But as long as they bring enough value into the relationship, it’s okay to look the other cheek, sometimes.

Walking away doesn’t always solve our relationship problems. If we keep running into people who don’t treat us properly, it’s perhaps an internal issue, not because we’re with the wrong person.

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Previously Published on medium

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