Want More Than a Situationship? Do Not Chase; Do This Instead

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When we like someone, it’s tempting to move fast, let our emotions take over and simply do what feels good. But in this frenzy of excitement we can inadvertently end up on a path we don’t want to be on…

In this week’s new video I answer a question from someone who didn’t want to repeat the last 2 years of her life, which she spent in a ‘friends with benefits’ situation.

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Transcript provided by YouTube [unedited]:

Should I Sleep With Him After a Second Date?

This month, one of my Love Life Club members posed a question: Is it advisable to sleep with a guy after a second date? She mentioned coming off a two-year friends-with-benefits situation she doesn’t want to repeat. This situation reveals that she’s been in a pattern of casual interactions she now wants to change.

Intentionality and Compatibility

Sometimes, debates about when to sleep with someone become political and gender-focused. However, the question shouldn’t be about societal norms but about personal intentionality. Can you sleep with someone after a short time? Sure, but does it serve your path and goals? Rather than focusing on the timeline, ask if your actions align with your desired relationship path.

Balancing Feelings and Behavior

An example from a guy in my local coffee shop illustrates this balance. Despite strong feelings, he chose not to rush things and pursued an organic pace. This distinction highlights that our feelings might push us one way, but intentional behavior serves our long-term goals.

The Love Bomber’s False Intentions

Love bombing, where someone showers you with affection and grand gestures, often lacks genuine intentionality. It can be minimum intentions disguised as maximum intentions. The love bomber indulges their emotions without considering consequences. This approach lacks alignment and true intent, potentially hurting the other person.

Prioritizing Compatibility

Just as love bombing isn’t aligned, sexual decisions shouldn’t be solely based on attraction. Feelings of excitement and sexual attraction can be strong, but they shouldn’t dictate your actions. When seeking a real relationship, focus on compatibility—shared intentions, life paths, and values. Showing intentionality in exploring compatibility communicates sincerity.

Sex and Intentionality

Sex should be viewed through the lens of intentionality too. If you’ve been on a few dates and feel attracted to someone, consider if this aligns with your goal of building a meaningful relationship. Separating your desires from what truly serves your long-term path is key. Sex isn’t a special category; it’s another aspect of intentional behavior.

Assessing Your Path

To those wanting a genuine relationship, prioritizing compatibility over immediate desires is crucial. Acting on feelings too soon can complicate things and blur your perspective. Separate what you feel like doing from what genuinely serves your path. If building a real connection is your goal, focus on assessing viability rather than acting on emotions.

Continuing the Journey

If you found this video helpful, visit yourdatingsolution.com for a free tool that offers tailored solutions for your dating challenges. It’s about aligning your actions with your intentions and building the connection you truly desire.

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This post was previously published on YouTube.

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