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Thank you Terry Crews.
Recently, the Senate Judiciary Committee heard From Terry Crews about the need to protect survivors of sexual assault, but he also shared his personal experience of harassment during his time as an actor in Hollywood. He showed incredible courage by sharing his personal story, and I hope that his example will help inspire other men to talk openly and vulnerably about their own experiences of sexual harassment and abuse.
When you put yourself “out there” as Crews did, you risk rejection—something that many men (myself included) have always feared.
The #MeToo movement made clear that women and men have a right to feel safe and comfortable in sharing their most vulnerable experiences with one another. I want to be able to be honest about my life experiences and what they mean to me, and discuss my fears. I want to be heard and understood, especially when I’m putting myself “out there.”
The reason so few men are willing to be this honest was publicly demonstrated when 50 Cent mocked Crews’ testimony before Congress. The rapper employed a disrespectful and archaic mentality that ultimately hurts men by keeping us afraid of being authentic, honest, and isolated when we also need to be heard, believed and supported. This aversion for emotion and connection among men must end.
Terry Crews showed men across the country that it is okay for us to take risks, be ourselves and not be afraid to share who we are and what has happened to us. In response to his act of courage, we need to applaud him and make space for other men to feel comfortable and safe talking about difficult experiences, including being a victim of sexual violence. It is not about being prepared to respond to another guy about disclosure, it is about just being there and believing them.
Social stigmas about sexual violence are slowly fading, and this is a good thing. Isolation, fear and shame work to the advantage of people who abuse others, and enable the suffering they inflicted to last for years. We, as a culture, must be prepared to hear men share what was done to them and how it affected them, just as we do for women and children. These conversations are coming and are here to stay.
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