Most people navigate life with the illusion that they have control over where they are headed. How things will turn out.
Somewhere in the back of the mind, we’re aware of our mortality and the uncertainties of life. The nightly news, with its ubiquitous reports of accidents and shootings, is hard to escape.
Yet we push aside the nightmares, fears, and worst-case scenarios in order to live our lives. We exercise, eat right, fasten our seatbelts, and helicopter over our children in the belief that everything will be okay. And mostly it works.
Until it doesn’t.
Have a heart without words
Damar Hamlin is a robust football safety for the Buffalo Bills.
In a 2023 televised game with the Cincinnati Bengals, Damar took a direct hit to his chest and went down. He stood up briefly and then collapsed into full cardiac arrest.
The right hit at the wrong time sometimes triggers a rare phenomenon known as commotio cordis, according to heart experts. This, or perhaps an undiagnosed heart ailment, may have contributed to Damar’s cardiac arrest.
Thankfully, medical experts on the field administered oxygen, CPR, and an AED (automated external defibrillator) which delivers electricity to restore the heart rhythm. Damar’s heartbeat was restored.
Players and staff on the football field spontaneously grouped together, fell to their knees, and prayed for Damar. Whether faithful, agnostic, or atheist, sometimes appealing to a higher power or simply sending your heartfelt wishes into the ether is all we can do.
And somehow, it helps us to cope.
Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one’s weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart. ― Mahatma Gandhi
A traumatic event, particularly when witnessed in public, tends to concentrate the mind. It bluntly reminds us that we are mortal, and anything can happen.
What’s worse than witnessing a traumatic event is being the victim of one.
I know, because it happened to me.
Throw open the windows of your soul
During my law enforcement career, I used to train regularly in Japanese jujitsu, an intense martial art often used by many of today’s best MMA fighters.
The style of jujitsu I practiced, Dan Zan Ryu, involved aggressive locks, throws, and ground fighting. I often came home after practices with scrapes, bruises, and sore muscles.
That’s me on the right, with my instructor, the late Prof. Sig Kufferath.
During one jujitsu class, the instructor and I were demonstrating a throw. I was the uke (attacker, or receiver of the technique). The instructor threw me to the mat, and I landed perfectly.
But when I stood up I felt strange.
I was a night shift Sergeant back then and had been up all night before attending class. Fueled on coffee and without sleep, I figured I felt strange due to exhaustion.
Your days are numbered. Use them to throw open the windows of your soul to the sun. If you do not, the sun will soon set, and you with it. ― Marcus Aurelius
I sat down against the wall, and a fellow student who happened to be a doctor asked me if I was alright.
“I don’t know, I feel like my heart is racing or something. It doesn’t hurt, and I can breathe okay, but I feel strange,” I told the doctor.
He examined me, and said casually, “I think you’re having an SVT. We better get you to the hospital and fix that.”
“What’s an SVT?” I asked.
“It’s a super ventricular tachycardia. But don’t worry, we can treat it,” the doctor said.
Needless to say, this frightened me. My father had a heart attack at home in front of me when I was 13 years old, and while he survived, the incident left me with a lifelong fear of cardiac emergencies.
In short order, an ambulance arrived, and I was whisked off to the hospital. The ER physician gave me an injection which immediately corrected my heart’s sinus rhythm.
The ER doctor told me SVTs are not uncommon. “We had a woman in here last week. She was wrestling with her kid. They were on the floor and the kid kicked her in the chest. It was just enough to throw her heart into an SVT,” the doctor said.
It stunned me how easily our hearts can be knocked out of rhythm. Of course, SVT is not immediately life-threatening like cardiac arrest, but it can be deadly if left untreated.
After an hour’s observation in the hospital, I was discharged.
I followed up that week with my primary care physician. She had me wear a Holter monitor for several days, and the results indicated that my heart was perfectly healthy.
My heart may have been healthy, but to this day I have PTSD from the incident. Because any brush with the specter of death (from my Dad’s heart attack to my SVT) changes you.
But it can also deepen your appreciation for life.
Thankful for every single person that prayed for me
Damar Hamlin, once he was breathing on his own and recovering, recently sent out an Instagram message:
The love has been overwhelming, but I’m thankful for every single person that prayed for me and reached out.
Damar later sent the following message via his Twitter account:
love is felt, & extremely real. No matter race or religion everybody coming together in prayer.
I remember praying for my father immediately after his heart attack when the paramedics were treating and preparing him for transfer. He saw the frightened look on my face and said, “Keep a stiff upper lip, Johnny.”
As a person of faith, I believe prayer connects us with the divine. But even if it doesn’t, prayer seems to reflect the best in all of us. It shows that we care and that we want positive outcomes.
And it unites us.
We have faith in goodness and love. We are united in our mortality. The knowledge that death is always lurking in the background of our lives.
But death isn’t the only thing that unites us. So does life, with all its exquisite beauty, hope, and love.
As we celebrate Damar Hamlin’s amazing return from the brink of death, we are reminded to hug one another a little tighter. Show a little more empathy and grace to our fellow man.
We must never forget, we’re all in this together.
Before you go
I’m John P. Weiss. I write elegant stories and essays about life, shoot black & white photography, and draw cartoons. Visit The Saturday Letters.
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This post was previously published on Medium.com.
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