What Change Looks Like And How I Stick With It

Growing up, the external forces of life knocked me off my tracks, more the once.

Like most people, I wanted to change things, but creating change felt challenging and uncomfortable.

Mostly because change is not a linear process.

Change is not the same as results, and results are not the same as change.

Most people I coach are unaware of how change works and how much control they have over this process.

They experience a lot of confusion before and during the process.

In this article, I would like to share some questions I ask myself and others to empower a more proactive approach to change.

What Is change for you?

I used to see change as a result, not as a difference in approach or an altering and modifying choice I made.

Change is the action I take that has an effect that is strong enough to change one or more aspects of my life.

Change is to do or become different (my identity) as a result brought about by the changes I make— NOT the result itself.

A writer is not a person who published a book. It is a person who writes consistently.

A runner is not a person who runs a 5 k twice a year. It is a person who runs every day.

How Do You Think Change will Effect Your Identity?

Change is not always a life-changing decision/moment.

Sometimes my identity will be reshaped over a gradual time frame, as my sense of who I am is modified with or without my awareness or recognition that I am changing.

All change is closely tied to my identity, and it is nearly impossible to change my behavior without altering my self-perception.

My actions shape my identity(or lack of action), and my identity shapes my actions.

While nothing is permanent and life circumstances are in constant change, all long-lasting personal change will lead to a shift in perspective of how I see myself.

A constructive change is always an investment because it will create a more worthy, valuable, competent, and capable me—no matter the outcome.

How Do You Identify What You Want To Change?

For over 16 years, I was stuck in the same rut and had a nagging feeling that I could get more out of life. My life!

Luckily I met a good mentor with a big heart who helped me identify what I wanted to change.

I remember his words:

To know where you are going, you must first identify where you are.

At the time I was feeling:

— I was not making an impact

—Apathetic and complacent

— I dread going to work

— All the money in the world couldn’t make up for my dissatisfaction

So, where did I go from here?

I got specific about what was not working.

I made a self-inventory of my values and goals in life.

I made an honest assessment of my strengths and skill gaps.

I developed a practical, realistic step-by-step plan and started to execute it daily.

How Does Your Environment Effect Change

My environment can influence, facilitate or discourage my behavior and motivation from acting.

Most of the time, I am taking a step towards something or away from something.

The environment I create or tolerate can improve my health outcomes such as sleep, anxiety, agitation, and depression or make it worse.

Most importantly, the environment I create can reduce stress, impacting my body in multiple ways.

This is because my brain, my nervous system, endocrine, and immune systems constantly interact.

Neuroscientist Candice Pert puts it like this,” “What you are thinking at any moment is changing your biochemistry.”

The single most contributing factor and catalyst for change in how I think about myself and others can be found in my environment.

Any bad environment can break down the most talented and successful individual over time.

In What Ways Are Your Habits Standing In your way of change?

I MUST ADDRESS MY AMBIVALENCE ABOUT MAKING CHANGES, whether I want to lose weight, exercise more frequently, upgrade my diet, quit smoking, cut back on alcohol, or something else.

My ambivalence is a process of evaluation, comparing the relative positives and negatives of possible choices. It has less to do with the goal itself and more to do with the hard work and discomfort that is waiting for me on the path to achieving it.

Ambivalence can feed my procrastination if I ignore it and don’t make it work in my favor.

I have learned the hard way that I profit from:

◌ Listening to my ambivalence— I write down the areas in which I experience ambivalence in any important project or goal

◌ I Clarify my values — I can’t stress this enough

◌ I question my motives — Over the years, this has helped me explore my reasons for making changes and get” “out of the deep forest of ambivalence

I consider the following questions:

—Why do I want to achieve this?

—Am I doing this to please others or create the best version of myself?

— If I decide to do this, how would I approach it to help me succeed?

—What are my top three reasons for doing this?

—What am I willing to endure to make this change?

— What have I already done to take steps in this direction?

How Do I Measure, Track And Evaluate Change?

I used to believe that the result was the change.

That couldn’t be further from the truth.

Change is input, not results. Results can come much later.

This is worth repeating;

Change is not the result I get at the end, and change is the input along the way.

The actions I take, the things I expose myself to every day, are the change, not the result I will see in one year.

This can be challenging to grasp because we live in a society that only focuses on results and minimal on the action.

Every action has a reaction, and it is this action that is the change, how small or big it might be.

I can have the best intentions in the world with my girlfriend, but if my actions don’t show my preferences, she won’t feel the change.

So once again, my input into the relationship is the change, not the result.

And as I have a relationship with myself, every input I make, my body will interpret as change if I can reframe it that way.

This is not as complicated as it sounds.

I keep the mantra in mind that input is change, and the moment I am changing my input, I am changing and evolving, even if I am not seeing any results yet.

Summary

My brain is in a dark room. Without inputs, it knows nothing besides what I feed it. (input)

I couldn’t make any observations, assessments, or decisions without my nervous system and my emotions there to guide me.

The environment constantly sends inputs to my brain, which translates into decisions and actions by using stored memories to guide the future.

If I want to change my life, I have to change my input

I remind myself to be mindful and to do this in baby steps and with a hefty dose of empathy.

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Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope this was helpful, and please share it with the world.

If you like to be the first to receive more articles like this and create the best version of yourself, consider following me.

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Previously Published on medium

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