What Does Inclusion Mean to Me?

I was approached this week and the term under discussion was “Inclusion” and how it relates to Pride, and this made me think.

Remember, I haven’t written a piece in a long while so excuse me if I sound a bit rusty.

So again, I posed this question internally. In my life, I rarely just give answers off the bat and oftentimes I like to add that personal touch to what I believe is right.

Let’s jump in. The first thing that popped into my mind with the word “Inclusion” is the term “Feeling of Belonging”. Now some of you might have heard about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs

On the third TIER from the bottom, you will find “Love and Belonging”. Now according to Maslow, the first 4 levels are described as Deficiency -D needs, and the rest are described are Growth B-needs.

To paraphrase:

“Deficiency needs are concerned with basic survival and include physiological needs (such as the need for food, sex, and sleep) and safety needs (such as the need for security and freedom from danger).”

“Deficiency needs arise due to deprivation and are said to motivate people when they are unmet. Also, the motivation to fulfill such needs will become stronger the longer they are denied. For example, the longer a person goes without food, the more hungry they will become.”

As you can see, these needs are classified as basic survival needs and if not met, the desire to get them met will become stronger.

If you look at just that simple and plain explanation, it makes logical sense why there is a Pride to start off with and then sadly so many people still think it’s the gays seeking attention — to be blunt (that is how you know me).

Given that it’s our basic nature to feel Love and Belonging, now let’s look at the opposite.

What do you get? Hate & Rejection. If we see the LGBTQ+ community or basically any community out there, be it religion, race, etc, being attacked, the message that is being spread is “You don’t belong here”, “I hate you” and my least personal one that hits me every time is “Rejection”.

Lets Recap…

What does inclusion mean to me? To echo Maslow’s words “Love and Belonging” I can’t state it better than that personally.

What is the Solution or the way Forward?

So when we think of what the solution could be, it’s only natural to want to attach a practical plan to it. That said, often we are told asking questions to show interest can achieve a sense of Inclusion, and although that is true, in my opinion, there is something even more effective than asking questions, and that my friends are “Listening”. Actually, more effective than listening is “Action”, but let’s stick with the basics for now.

There is an expression in Afrikaans that reads:

“Waar die hart van vol is, loop die mond van oor” and it loosely translates to “But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart”

Actually, it’s a very well-known (to some) Bible verse from Matthew 15:10–20.

Now before I get all those judgemental thoughts and comments about the bible and religion, can we set aside our differences, and focus our attention on the logic of that expression?

The point I am trying to make is, one need not ask questions, but only to listen to what people are talking about. That in itself will give you an indication of whether people feel Love or Belonging.

Do we feel Love and Belonging if we still have a need for Pride? In some instances yes, and in some no. Pride is NOT a “Nice to Have”, it’s a “Must”, it’s a basic need.

As long as there is “Hate & Rejection” in the world, there will always be a need for “Love and Belonging”.

More on Growth needs…

To elaborate a small bit on the Growth Needs part, here is what Maslow said:

“Maslow (1943) initially stated that individuals must satisfy lower-level deficit needs before progressing to meet higher-level growth needs. However, he later clarified that satisfaction of a need is not an “all-or-none” phenomenon, admitting that his earlier statements may have given “the false impression that a need must be satisfied 100 percent before the next need emerges” (1987, p. 69).”

“Growth needs are more psychological needs and are associated with the realization of an individual’s full potential and the need to ‘self-actualize’. These needs are achieved more through intellectual and creative behaviors.

“Growth needs do not stem from a lack of something but rather from a desire to grow as a person. Once these growth needs have been reasonably satisfied, one may be able to reach the highest level, called self-actualization. Growth needs are achieved more through intellectual and creative behaviors.”

To sum up: We can’t Grow and Self-Actualize if we can’t have our basic needs met.

So now that we have a really good understanding of what Inclusion means to me, it also leads us to the next question:

Why is Inclusion Important? To answer a question with another question:

How can we flourish and thrive personally, as a community, and even in our jobs, if we are still battling to meet our basic needs?

In my 2020 Blog, I talked about what Pride meant to me and the answer was clear, to be Proud of who I am.

So let me ask you this? How Proud of myself will I continue to feel, if I live in a world where I am told: “I don’t belong”??

Conclusion

If we listen more to each other and ask questions and show acceptance, people will hopefully feel more “Love and Belonging” and if we can do that, we essentially set people up to Flourish and Thrive and that is what Inclusion really means to me.

Happy Pride Month to you all!!

The End.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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