Social media has made relationships so much more complicated.
On top of the traditional dating issues, we are now having to deal with our significant other’s digital behavior as well.
One issue is: Why Your Partner Doesn’t Post About You & What It Means
So let’s break it down.
Possible Reasons Why Your Partner Might Not Be Posting About You
1. They Like To Keep Their Personal Life Private
I am a very private person. I have been on Instagram for more than 5 years yet I only have 15 posts.
At times, I have gone a whole year without posting anything.
So if you are dating someone like me, you probably won’t end up on their feed very often.
People like me aren’t cold or avoidant.
And we are not trying to hide anything.
We just don’t feel the need to tell hundreds of acquaintances about the very personal details of our lives.
But, now that I am in a relationship, I do post my boyfriend on my Instagram stories every now and then.
2. They Are Afraid of Judgment
I used to date a guy who was very conscious about his looks. He looked fine, great in fact in my opinion, but he wasn’t very confident in himself.
So when I wanted to post his picture, he would either make me take 100 photos or heavily edit before posting.
And for the same reason, he would refrain from posting any picture with me.
Now I am not sure if he was conscious of my looks as well, but one thing was for sure — he was afraid of judgment.
3. They Are Hiding You From Their Family (Especially If They Are Conservative)
I know its not like this for everyone but there are still certain cultures that do not encourage romantic relationships before marriage.
For example, I have an Indian friend who had to hide her relationship for 4 years because they belong to different communities.
If her family found out, it would have been catastrophic.
So if your partner is from a similar culture, it’s understandable why they might not want to post you.
But I think in this case, there’s a workaround — they can simply hide the story from their family.
4. There’s Someone Else In The Picture
This one doesn’t need a lot of explanation.
If there’s someone else, they will obviously want to keep you a secret.
Maybe another serious partner, a fling, or even a casual hookup, they just don’t want anyone to know about you.
There’s also a possibility that they are keeping their options open — pretending to be single online so they can still browse their options.
5. They Are Not Sure About The Relationship
For some people, the “relationship” tag is a huge deal.
They don’t date around much and when they do, they are serious about it.
These people like to take things slow.
They don’t want to tell the world about their relationship until they are sure about it.
For example, apart from a few close people, I didn’t tell anyone about my current boyfriend until we were 8 months in.
For me, the reason was that I’d already had a string of failed relationships and didn’t want the world to know about my new relationship until I was sure that it was serious.
Privacy Vs Secrecy: Which One Is It?
Some people like to keep their personal lives private, hence they don’t post you.
But sometimes people don’t want to post because they want to hide the relationship. And that’s a problem.
How To Know What’s Happening In Your Case?
If they are trying to keep your relationship private, they will:
- Occasionally post about you, at least on their stories.
- Will introduce you to their close ones such as their friends and families.
But if they are trying to keep your relationship a secret:
- They will never post about you, even after you share how much it bothers you.
- They might pretend to be single infront of other people.
- They will not introduce you to anyone, neither friends nor family.
So What Can You Do In This Situation?
There’s not much to do here.
You can sit down for a talk and share what’s on your mind.
State why you want them to post you.
Then hear their reason for not posting you.
And then try to figure out a midway.
If they are just a private person, they might agree to occasionally post you.
At least on their stories.
At least with close friends.
At least a soft launch.
And if they just want to keep it a secret, they won’t budge, and that too, is an answer in itself.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Scott Broome on Unsplash
