She was a petite blond with a wicked backhand. We played racquetball once a week before Covid-19.
After matches, we’d chat by the water fountain. As I got to know her, I envied her.
She was happily married to her college sweetheart. I was divorced. She had 3 wonderful children. I had wanted children but it didn’t work out. She had a 4 bedroom house in an upscale subdivision, took nice vacations and had a top-of-the-line racket. I was struggling to make ends meet.
One day we met for lunch. She opened up, and taught me a lesson I’ll always be grateful for.
She mentioned a boy she grew up with. After his father died, her dad hired him to work at his small shop. The boy was barely in his teens at the time and my friend’s father mentored him.
The boy was now a man. His daughter was getting married. My friend wouldn’t be able to attend the wedding because her son’s graduation was the same day.
“That’s tough,” I commiserated.
“I’m really broken about it,” my friend said. “He’s such a great person, and he’s never forgotten our family.”
Wait, what? Why would he forget her family?
Turns out this man became extremely wealthy. He owned several mansions.
Yet… my friend’s voice, as she talked about him, never veered towards envy. She sincerely wanted only good things for this man. Her love for him was genuine.
It humbled me.
Her attitude made me examine my own heart.
And that’s a great gift.
Since then, I’ve kept a better perspective. When I feel envy creeping in, I remember my friend, and I push it away.
Envy only hurts you, not the person you envy.
Envy is a waste of your time and energy.
Envy steals your peace and hurts your health.
My focus needs to be on my own life, and my own goals. When I compete with myself, I experience a healthy type of motivation. When I compete with others, even if I win, I lose.
Thanks to the lesson my friend taught me, I’m a happier person. And I’m a better friend and a nicer human being.
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Previously published on medium
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Photo credit: by Daniel Gregoire on Unsplash