When you’re dealing with mental or personal problems, talking to a therapist can be the solution to your problems. However, one challenge is finding the therapist who is best for you.
You see, many people will pick whoever is available, then say that therapy doesn’t work because the therapist wasn’t the best fit. When going to therapy, it’s important to connect with the therapist who will best suit your needs. Let’s look at some things you should look out for.
An Acclaimed Therapist
First, look for a therapist who has good reviews. Whether it’s a couple of glowing recommendations, positive reviews on Google, or anything else that proves they are worth it, it can help with your decision.
Age and Gender
There is no right answer for this one, but it’s worth discussing. When you’re searching for a therapist, the age and the gender may not matter, or it could matter quite a bit. If you’re a man, maybe you want another man who can sympathize with men’s issues, or perhaps you want a woman’s perspective. You may want someone older and wiser, or someone younger who can help you think outside of the box.
Commitment
It’s important to have a therapist who will stay on a committed schedule for you. Obviously, a therapist can’t be there 24/7, but if they are always postponing sessions, then you may have a problem. Find a therapist who can be consistent unless there is an emergency.
A Feeling of an Alliance
When you talk to a new therapist, one feeling that you should have from them is that you’re doing this together. You’re in a true alliance, dedicated to solving all the problems you have. With a therapist who is not as good, you may feel like they’re doing all the work for you, or they’re not putting in any effort at all.
A Feeling Of Trust
Another important quality to look for in a therapist is the feeling of trust. You want to feel like you can talk to them about anything, including issues that you may feel are a little personal. While all therapists are bound by privacy, there are some who don’t give off the feeling of trust. A good therapist can make any person, even the most paranoid, feel like they’re trustable after a couple of sessions. If you’re not feeling this, perhaps it’s time to talk to someone else.
Developing a Treatment Plan for You
Another thing you should look for in a therapist is a consistent and early treatment plan. During the first session, the therapist may layout the plan early. Having a treatment plan out early shows confidence and gives you the ability to get a head start on your therapy.
Adaptable
With therapy, everything can change. A treatment plan may not work, or the goals of therapy can evolve over time. It’s important for a therapist to know how to adapt to changes in a way that is seamless. Therapy is a science after all, and science is all about self-correcting and wanting to grow.
Optimism
Radiating optimism is a helpful trait in therapy. Many people come to therapy feeling down on their luck, and a therapist’s goal is to give off as much optimism as possible to make the person feel like there is hope. Even if the treatment isn’t going well, having optimism can turn things around. If your therapist seems down in the dumps, it’s time to drop them.
They Respect Your Beliefs and Background
A therapist shouldn’t be debating you because you have a different religion than they do, and they shouldn’t belittle you for your culture, either. This seems obvious, and yet many people will ignore backhanded comments or insults because they feel like it’s a part of the session.
They Don’t Take Sides
A therapist can be critical of you, but when it comes to something like couples therapy, the goal is to help couples reach a common ground. If your therapist seems to be biased towards you or your spouse, then it’s time to get a new one. Taking sides is something that you should make sure your therapist isn’t doing.
The Therapist Respects Boundaries
With therapy, there’s going to be times when you must cross into uncomfortable territory. However, a good therapist knows how to guide you into it and knows when to back away when you’re not feeling comfortable. A therapist will ask every time when they are about to do something that may cross a boundary, and they won’t do it if you say no.
If a therapist isn’t respecting boundaries then you should stay away from them at all costs and get yourself a new one.
Willing to Have a Pre-Therapy Conversation
If you’re still unsure about whether or not you want to talk to the therapist, a good therapist can help you decide by letting you have a conversation before your first session. They may ask to talk on the phone, and you can get an idea as to what they’re about, or you may exchange emails.
An initial conversation can help you decide if they’re right for you. From the tone of voice to how they want to approach you, it can let you go from there.
They’re Willing to Change Therapists if it’s Not Working Out
Finally, there are good therapists who may not necessarily be good for you. They may not be the best fit, and their approach may be suited for someone else. When you tell the therapist this, they should be more than happy to recommend you someone else, no questions asked.
Conclusion
Choosing a therapist is a challenge and not one you should approach lightly. If you need help, you should take a little bit of time to make sure the therapist you select can help you to the best of your ability. Find the therapist who is right for you, and you won’t regret it.
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