I had the fleeting, overly ambitious and overblown idea of re-writing for today’s chaotic politcs what Molly Ivins said about politics and politicians in the past. Molly, for those who were under a rock, or certainly not living in Texas during the last Millennium and the beginning of this one, was our preeminent, political humorist, journalist. She took the reins over from Will Rogers long after he died, but also before women were offered seats at the humorists’, or other journalists’ table. She didn’t care. She brought her own whisky to any table. Literally.
Molly, as she is known only by her first name in Texas, described two types of humor:
“One kind that makes us chuckle about our foibles and our shared humanity…the other kind holds people up to public contempt and ridicule — that’s what I do.”
For a small point of reference, Molly is the one who coined the nickname “Shrub” for George W. Bush.
Molly died in 2006, two years after President Obama was a twinkle in the National Democratic Committee’s eye, and ten years before the U.S. headed down the orange road to Armegeddon.
How dare I think I could paraphrase, mimic, or in any other way channel Molly Ivins? As I perused her quotes, some I remembered and some I’d forgotten, I realized not only can nobody be Molly but Molly, but also that she was prescient about today’s politics. She saw today’s lunacy coming and warned against it.
About the new restrictive abortion law in Texas, the gun law allowing unregistered carry, and the new voting restrictions, she would have reiterated this statement.
“And Texas has always been the national laboratory for bad government. I mean, if you want to see a bad idea tried, we’ve tried it. Naturally, in Texas, National Laboratory for Bad Government, we do it all first and worst.”
I think that fits the current situation accurately.
She had many more specific things to say about gun control. Here’s one of the best.
“What will it take before we start treating bullets like automobiles, refrigerators and microwave ovens, all of which have identifying numbers that allow them to be traced to their purchasers?”
What would she say about Greg Abbott considering running for president? This is what she wrote about the presidency of George W. Bush.
“Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention.”
Like most of us liberal Texans, Molly had a love-hate relationship with Texas.
“I dearly love the state of Texas, but I consider that a harmless perversion on my part, and discuss it only with consenting adults.”
***
Molly already had the words to describe Trump, long before he entered the political arena. Although her descriptions were about politicians of her day, they fit what we experienced from 2016 to 2020.
“Ronald Reagan proved that ignorance is no handicap to the presidency.”
When a Republican Dallas congressman said ending school desegregation might help ease a gasoline shortage, she retorted,
“If his I.Q. slips any lower, we’ll have to water him twice a day.”
I seriously planned to write something humorous about Trump in Molly Ivins’ style, but again, she beat me to it. Hers is also better because she was completely dismissive of him in 2000.
Early in November, we had the grave matter of whether Al Gore is an alpha male thoroughly parsed for us — one newsmagazine made it the lead story. We were also confronted with George W. Bush’s ignorance of the names of three out of four leaders in world trouble spots, and this called for much double-doming and deep dissection. After Ronald Reagan, who didn’t know all the names of his own Cabinet members, you would think there was little excitement to be mined in that department. The disquieting news that John McCain has a temper has been thoroughly mulled over by all and sundry. All this follows months of discussion on burning topics like W. Bush’s alleged drug use thirty years ago, vast attention to Gore’s shifting from blue suits to earth tones, Donald Trump being treated as though any reasonable citizen would consider voting for him, the Warren Beatty candidacy, and much more that is of no help whatever in selecting the next Leader of the Free World.
Would she have mined plenty more caustic, derisive comedy gold from him? I’m sure. Do I want to try? No, I’m a reasonable citizen and I’m done with him, as she was done with him before he really started.
She knew how someone like him could ruin our country.
“When politicians start talking about large groups of their fellow Americans as ‘enemies,’ it’s time for a quiet stir of alertness. Polarizing people is a good way to win an election, and also a good way to wreck a country.”
“I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag.”
As for journalists being called the enemy of the people? My guess is she would laugh her exuberant laugh, throw back a shot of whiskey, and keep protecting we, the people, from the powers that be.
***
Molly also anticipated the current issues with the 1% versus the rest of us.
“The issues unraveling the edges of American democracy aren’t left to right, but top to bottom.”
“One function of the income gap is that the people at the top of the heap have a hard time even seeing those at the bottom. They practically need a telescope. The pharaohs of ancient Egypt probably didn’t waste a lot of time thinking about the people who build their pyramids, either.”
I can’t help thinking while reading that of all the contractors and small builders Trump refused to pay when the work was done on his properties.
***
How about immigration? She called anti-immigration what it is. Racism.
“By all means, reform immigration with this deep obeisance to the Republican right-wing nut faction and their open contempt for “foreigners.” But do not pretend for one minute that it is not a craven political bow to racism (yes, racism — I am actually calling them racists, although they pretend it hurts their feelings. Try reading their websites and see for yourself), and to nativism, to xenophobia and to Know-Nothingism. Just don’t forget what you are throwing away in the process.”
As you see, she was more than a skewering jokester. On the other hand, she skewered a lot. As my friend and journalist Bud Kennedy of the Fort Worth Star Telegram wrote about her,
“For 35 years in Austin, nine of them for the Star-Telegram, she made fun of everything in Austin that was crazy or crooked, meaning she never ran out of material.”
She certainly had opinions about the patriarchy. In her day, “Women journalists were relegated to fashion, gardening, and lifestyle back then,” says Janis Engels, director of the documentary, “Raise Hell:The life and Times of Molly Ivins.” “Back then,” was when Molly started her journalistic journey in the 1970s. Molly liked to quote this story from research by Margaret Atwood.
“Margaret Atwood, the Canadian novelist, once asked a group of women at a university why they felt threatened by men. The women said they were afraid of being beaten, raped, or killed by men. She then asked a group of men why they felt threatened by women. They said they were afraid women would laugh at them.”
Molly took that to heart in making us laugh at, mostly male, politicians.
***
What would she have to say about a world-wide pandemic, that although we were warned, no one really expected to have to deal with in the modern age? How would she respond to the anti-vaxxers and non-mask wearers? This quote covers even that.
“It’s all very well to run around saying regulation is bad, get the government off our backs, etc. Of course our lives are regulated. When you come to a stop sign, you stop; if you want to go fishing, you get a license; if you want to shoot ducks, you can shoot only three ducks. The alternative is dead bodies at the intersection, no fish, and no ducks. OK?”
***
How did Molly end up being a liberal in the middle of Texas? How did she “come out so strange”? To clear that up, she stated that,
“I believe all Southern liberals come from the same starting point — race. Once you figure out they are lying to you about race, you start to question everything.”
This is certainly true in my case. Having eyes opened to the injustices of racism made me, and Molly, aware of all injustices.
Being aware of injustice isn’t enough, however. Nothing changes if we regard politics as someone else’s job.
“Politics is not a picture on a wall or a television sitcom that you can decide you don’t much care for.”
Molly believed in fighting the good fight. She wrote and acted in ways that John Lewis called “good trouble.” She saw injustice for what it was, and called it out as being anti-Constitution, and anti-American.
“The only problem was, the founders left a lot of people out of the Constitution. They left out poor people and black people and female people. It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America. And it still goes on today.”
What does Molly call for us to do today, as people and as writers?
“So keep fightin’ for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don’t you forget to have fun doin’ it. . . And when you get through kickin’ ass and celebrating the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after you how much fun it was.”
—
This post was previously published on Medium.
***
You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project
 |
 |
 |
 |
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: Shutterstock
