Goals are good and healthy to have. We all have them. Maybe we want to become president, a musician, or just a healthier person. Ambition and goal-setting are highly-valued traits, especially in the Western world. People set goals in order to motivate and inspire themselves, and to give themselves something to look forward to! They can be incredible fuel to get people moving on the path to their dreams.
But, the whole point of having goals is to achieve them and keep improving or keep moving forward in life. What about when you feel like you have a lot of goals, but you’re not actually achieving any of them? Everyone’s experienced this before. You get a goal in your mind, and you hope to achieve it one day, but it’s always “one day” and never NOW. It gets put off until later, whether it be to apply for that new job, lose weight, get out of or into a new relationship, take a much-needed vacation or trip, etc. It can be anything! The problem is, we’re not achieving it. But why?
What is the problem?
Many obstacles like to come in the way of us achieving our goals, and the list is long. But here’s the thing that many of us simply don’t want to face. It’s an old adage, but it still annoyingly rings true: you don’t get anything without work, hard work. That’s enough to scare people away from achieving their long list of goals. They don’t want to do hard work; they’re too tired; they don’t have time; they don’t want to make sacrifices, whatever it may be. But, I would even add a little bit more to that. The power is within us to take action. That can either be scary or encouraging, but with either option, the result is still the same: it is up to you to take action to achieve whatever it is you desire.
So why aren’t we achieving?
- We can’t really specify what we want and boil it down to clearly outlined goals.
- We’re too tired and don’t have the energy to put into achieving our goals.
- We’re scared of what will happen if we actually succeed (fear of success).
- We’re scared of all of the hard work and sacrifices we may have to make to get to our goal.
- We aren’t focused on it, and we let other things around us distract us from our pathway.
- We don’t believe in ourselves enough.
- We are waiting for something to come and push us along or drop right into our laps.
- We don’t consciously realize that it is within our power to make changes.
Self-talk
That’s right; It’s time for some self-talk. Most of us would never talk to someone else the way we talk to ourselves. And, self-talk is growing ever more important, the more research is done on the connection between it and success and growth.
What people need is positive self-talk. Studies are showing that positive self-talk is almost like reconstructing the mind to think in a new way. We get into these mental ruts that are created from years of thinking and believing in one way, over and over. Those are tough to break from. It’s just like carving a new pathway onto a wooden surface after one has already been created and is well-worn.
Making changes and achieving goals will take A LOT of positive self-talk. Here’s a tip. You are more likely to be kinder, more understanding, and more encouraging to others, so psychologist Ethan Kross from University of Michigan suggests you use your own name when talking to yourself. For example, “Name, you can run that extra mile. You’ve really improved recently. Keep it going. It’s only a little bit further.” It almost gives you that emotional distance from yourself, so that you can talk to yourself like you’re someone else, and keep it kind, not “Name, you’re so slow. You’ll never get any faster, and you’ll never lose the weight.” See the difference?
How to achieve your goals
If you feel like you’re stuck in a rut and just are not achieving the goals you’d like to achieve or the way you’d like to achieve them, then take a look at these tips to get you on that path:
- Self-talk: who feels motivated to achieve when someone is constantly telling them they won’t or can’t? Talk to yourself like you would a friend or a loved one. Be kind, but be firm.
- Take action: It’s time. Success cannot come without hard work. You won’t get anywhere if you don’t MOVE.
- Set smaller goals: Break up your goals into smaller, manageable bits, so you can do pieces of it at a time. If you want to write a book, start with coming up with your characters. If you want to lose weight, start with a walk around the park. IT ALL COUNTS.
- Learn!: Get the knowledge you need to achieve your goals most effectively. If you need certain skills to do so, now is the time to learn. Not one day, now!
- Specify your goals: Decide what your goals are. It can be overwhelming when you really think of the old phrases, “the sky is the limit,” or “the world is your oyster”. Bring it down to something that is clear and that is what you really want. Then, you can focus on getting it.
- Take care of yourself: Good work can be done if you take care of your physical body. Don’t run it ragged; give it good food; and give it exercise, so that you have a healthy body to work with to start on the path to your dreams.
- Reflect: This is oh so important. Spend time meditating and reflecting daily, if possible. With reflection and meditation, we can clear away some of that mental fog that threatens to stop us from working towards our goals or to hide our real desires. Also, reflect to make sure your heart is in the right place, and that you’re listening to your inner guide. Meditation is proven to have a positive effect both on psychological and physical health!
- Give back: Guess what? We’re all out here trying to achieve goals and make our lives better, not just you. Give back to the universe and add positive energy to it. Not only do you help others, but you also add more love and positivity to yourself as well as positive energy to achieve your dreams.
The time is now. What’s holding you back? Find out your goals, work hard, and go for them. Get yourself in the right mindset. Some days you’re not going to want to feel like it. But, who ever feels like doing hard work?
Bibliography:
Administrator. (n.d.). Top Ten Reasons People Don’t Achieve Their Goals – SuccessNet.org: Design, Create and Live Your Best Life. Retrieved from http://successnet.org/cms/goals/top-ten-reasons-people-dont-achieve-their-goals
Starecheski, L. (2014, October 07). Why Saying Is Believing – The Science Of Self-Talk. Retrieved from https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2014/10/07/353292408/why-saying-is-believing-the-science-of-self-talk
The Alternative Daily. (2016, March 27). Creating New Neural Pathways in the Brain. Retrieved from https://www.thealternativedaily.com/creating-neural-path-brain/
—
