What’s it Like to ‘Source Your Power From Within’?

What does that even mean and why should we care?

Most of us were taught, implicitly or explicitly, that power means to have power over someone or something. Such as being CEO, president, the owner, the head, the chief.

Our entire lives have revolved around the idea of climbing the corporate ladder — a physical representation that we must climb up and over others, up and out, in order to get power.

It’s as if we are never enough as we are, and we must constantly grasp outside of ourselves to amount to anything.

No wonder that when high-achieving clients come to me, they are unable to connect with their body or emotions. Instead, they tell me what they’re thinking. It’s a remarkable degree of disconnection.

No wonder that the most common complaint I hear from clients about their partners is that they are ‘closed-minded’, ‘defensive’, or ‘unwilling to introspect’.

Success is often associated with aggression, going to extremes, winning, being the best, getting more, and resistance to receptivity. The vector of these things is up and out. You cannot ever go down and in. Down and in equals weakness, failure.

So it makes a lot of sense that many of us would be unwilling to do inner work. I sure was.

Not only that — when you have climbed so high, it brings up a lot of fear of falling.

But this kind of power, as you can perhaps feel now, is rickety. Externally, it depends on continuing to force ourselves to be the best at the expense of others and of our health and on defending our position. Internally, it depends on not going deep enough to feel anything that might make us slow down or be vulnerable.

This is totally exhausting.

And in relationship, this comes across as fake and disconnected. It IS disconnected from the heart, from source, from our center.

So this is where ‘sourcing your power from within’ comes in.

Power in this instance means ‘source of energy’, like an inner engine, or life force. Instead of something externally wielded over others, here it’s an ever-flowing current within us.

The way that I connect with this is by listening to myself. I feel my feet on the ground, breathe deep into my belly, relax my jaw, and pay attention to what physical sensations and emotions are moving through me. It’s an inner posture of receptivity — the opposite of what we’re taught power is.

I listen to what my gut, my heart AND my head are telling me. This requires de-prioritizing thoughts as the most important input. They’re still an input, just not the ONLY one.

In this process of listening, I open to my moment to moment reality, what I need, and what my inner compass is pulling me toward. This inner wellspring helps me be present enough to speak honestly about what’s going on for me, instead of trying to manipulate, while also being connected to others.

Social interactions become less fraught, making decisions is easier, and I naturally take care of myself better.

I also get in touch with my creative impulse and drive and allow myself to follow an inner muse.

This is how power doesn’t need to come from power over anyone else, and it doesn’t need to be defended. It’s not an exhausting struggle.

Instead, life becomes more fascinating and fun.

Of course, it may not be an easy thing to do at first — it took me a few years of awareness practices before I realized it was okay to want what I wanted — that I could do something that I enjoyed rather than out of duty alone. And, we need to stay connected to others and honest in our healing work because this is not about simply following impulses or cravings, or acting out behaviors conditioned by trauma. It is deeper, and can require care and discernment.

The practice of coming home to ourselves again and again — of listening, opening, and getting fed by our inner fire — does not come with a final summit or endpoint. It’s a journey that unfolds for a lifetime.

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This post was previously published on Jessica Gold, Ph.D.

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