Marriage counseling. It’s two words that most couples don’t want to hear. The idea that your marriage is so far gone that you must stand feet apart at an office while a counselor plays the mediator just does not gel with most couples.
If that’s what you visualize, rethink marriage counseling. Counseling can take a marriage that’s on its last legs and make you feel like you’re in the honeymoon phase again. Of course, not everyone needs counseling, but if you’re dealing with the following, you may consider it.
You Two Have Different Goals
Goals are always important in order to have a fulfilling life, but some couples may develop goals that are far different from each other. For instance, one person may want to return to college, while the other one doesn’t want to move or spend the money. One person may want a baby, and the other doesn’t.
Differing goals can rip apart a marriage. At first, they may seem like small disagreements, but with time, it can make the marriage grow apart. A counselor can help both of you work on goals that are shared or come to a middle ground with goals that differ.
It’s a Sexless Marriage
The idea that sex stops in a marriage is something that you shouldn’t listen to. If you two have had a good sex life, and then it suddenly stops, there may be something wrong. It can be due to drifting apart, stress, a health problem, or something else that could be problematic for a marriage.
A counselor can teach you ways to return sex to your marriage, all while helping both parties should the lack of sex be due to stress or a health problem.
Fighting Over The Same Things
Arguments and conflicts are normal in a marriage. In fact, some would say that if your marriage has no conflict, there’s something wrong. However, arguments need to be productive. If the two of you are going in circles over the same argument, it can be a sign that you need to speak to a counselor. This also applies if you keep bringing up arguments that you were supposed to resolve. A counselor can teach you healthy ways to resolve conflict for good.
There’s a Mental Health Problem or Addiction
If someone in the relationship has developed depression, anxiety, or has become addicted to a substance or other activity, counseling and therapy may be needed.
One aspect of mental health counseling is also providing support to your loved one, teaching them how they handle the challenges that come with a loved one who has depression, anxiety, or depression. A counselor can help both parties learn ways to handle recovery and do it together. Addiction can be treated faster when both people are working hard to support each other and avoid any enabling of the problem.
You’re About to Be Married
When you think of marriage counseling, you tend to imagine couples who are already married. That’s just common sense, right?
Many couples about to be married are starting to learn the importance of premarital counseling. This is when a couple who is about to get married prepares themselves for the challenges that come with marriage, such as finances, arguments, and more. It can be a great way for already healthy couples to grow even more.
There’s Infidelity or Thoughts of Infidelity
Dishonesty in a marriage can end up being its downfall, and one of the biggest ways this happens is through infidelity. Often, this is because the needs in a relationship aren’t being met. With that said, cheating can be the end of a good marriage, and if you have thoughts of it, a counselor can help and be a safe place to talk about it.
If cheating has taken place, a counselor can help rebuild trust and prevent it from happening in the future.
Perhaps one of the vaguest, yet notable reasons to call a counselor is because the two of you have felt distant. You don’t talk that much anymore. There’s no intimacy. You two may not even get mad at each other anymore. Whether it’s due to drifting apart, or due to another factor such as work, talking to a counselor about these issues can help couples who are feeling like they’re drifting apart.
Communication is important in any marriage, so when couples always end up having communication breakdowns, then it’s time to go see a counselor. One example of a classic communication breakdown is when there’s miscommunication. Sometimes, it’s hard to get your word out, and when your spouse misinterprets your words, it can lead to some intense drama. A counselor can teach both parties how to communicate in a way that causes less overall drama and is better for both parties involved.
There’s Divorce or Talk of Divorce
Finally, even if the marriage is ending, a marriage counselor is someone you should talk to, and for two reasons.
The first is that they can help you decide if a divorce is really for you. There are times where you should seek counseling as a last resort. In some cases, couples who went to counseling were able to turn their marriage around, even if they were about to sign those divorce papers.
On the other hand, even if you two want a divorce, a counselor can help to make that divorce as amicable as possible. Divorce can be a horrifying time in your life, yet with counseling, you may be able to make the process a whole lot less painful.
There isn’t any shame in speaking to a counselor about your problems, especially marriage. Your marriage was a product of commitment, and you should strive to stay as committed as possible. Speak to a couple’s counselor and get to repairing your marriage.
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