It is natural for us as humans to seek love, we want to be valued, appreciated, and feel needed. Now, this isn’t something we cannot get but many times it’s about who we want it from and if they are willing to give it to us.
Everybody has people in their lives who care and value them. But the love and support we get from our family don’t seem enough most times because we believe that they are obliged to love us. And valuing us is some form of duty.
So we want somebody outside of our family to make us believe that we are worth loving. It’s frightening what we’re willing to do to get others to approve of us. Editing our life stories. Cutting out the bad and ugly. Hiding behind filters. And trying to act a certain way because they said they like people who act like that.
It becomes hard when they don’t even notice us or treat us the same way. It’s heartbreaking to watch somebody talk to you in a way you’ll never talk to them. Their action robs it in that you mean nothing to them when to you, they mean the sun and nine planets.
While it’s okay to wait for people you want to be with, you should know that waiting is exhausting.
Waiting for somebody who you’re sure is coming could be hard sometimes. But waiting for someone who may never show up, is a different gamble entirely.
If you’ve done everything you know how to do to tell someone you love him/her and they don’t see it, it’s best you give them space because stalking them is a no-brainer. Especially when they don’t like you. You can’t repeatedly audition for a role in someone’s life who has made it clear that casting is complete and all roles have been taken.
The feeling that comes with rejection is devastating. It’s enough to make a happy person become distant and withdrawn. So if you notice that someone doesn’t care about you, it’s better to stop trying for your own emotional wellbeing.
You don’t have to let anybody make you feel useless before you withdraw. Because one thing that comes with facing constant rejections is the feeling that we’re not doing enough. So we put more effort into the next move to make it bigger than the last one. Until it begins to feel that we ain’t good enough.
But for a person who doesn’t want you, nothing you do is grand. When people like you, they appreciate the little things, like the style of your hair. But when they don’t like you, even your smile would be appalling to them.
Don’t try to impress them by going out of your way. It wouldn’t make them notice you. Neither will it make you feel any better. You have to accept it as painful as it may be that there’s nothing you can do to make them like you.
Don’t hang around imagining what-if.
Do something else with your life. Replace them with something else and put your energy into it. Travel and explore new places. Check on your old friends you haven’t seen in a while. Organize family picnics and give yourself enough me time.
Move on with your life. As long as you’re moving on, you’ll meet new people. And you’ll find someone who’d appreciate your little efforts. You’ll find someone who’ll remember every single word that comes out of your mouth. That special someone who fancies your looks and thinks you smile just like the sun.
If they don’t like you, move on and keep moving on.
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
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