Where Is the Fun Now Everything Is Triggering?

I like to say I hate trigger warning content, but I don’t.

When I was a child, my parents didn’t allow us to watch any other film aside from children’s stories. Tales by Moonlight was kids’ all-time favorite drama back then.

Today, kids have cartoons and nursery rhymes to educate and entertain them. My two-year-old niece knew how to speak British English fluently before she stepped foot in the classroom while living in Nigeria.

Her teachers were amazed at her behavior because she was different from her classmates and smarter. They would call her Oyibo (meaning White), a term used by locals to describe people from Western culture.

My niece was able to adopt Westernized culture just by watching cartoons and nursery rhymes every day.

Children don’t get censored content because everything they watch is meant to create fantasies of a perfect world. But as they grow older, they realize the world isn’t as rosy as they were told.

They discover that their environment is filled with terror, violence, wars, murder, rape, discrimination, etc.

Despite my parents knowing that we would one day face some of these social challenges, they did not prepare us for these experiences.

My parents didn’t do much talking when raising us. My dad was more strict than my mother. You either obey or you get flogged. No room for debates or soft parenting as we see these days.

The only way we could learn what was happening in society was through school and churches, but the real dangers weren’t taught in these places — or at home for that matter.

Films and books were educational tools that taught real life experiences and how to respond to them.

Movies like “Romeo and Juliet,” “Die Another Day,” and “Anaconda” were films about hard-core lessons on violence, murder racism and self-defensive mechanisms during an attack.

However, those movies were restricted to people above 18 years so my parents didn’t allow us to watch them until we were 18.

Today, children have access to all kinds of materials and some are pushing for their children to be included in adult spaces like pubs.

My point is, that the world we live in is rapidly changing as we know it. Everyone wants their freedom and space respected. Everyone wants to be heard and accepted. And as a society, we want to do what pleases everyone.

But that’s a bit of a challenge, isn’t it?

The topic of “Trigger Warning” has raised a lot of attention over the years. Arguments on whether warnings before a traumatizing display are necessary and if it should be removed spark controversies over the media.

We need trigger warnings if we are to have a sustainable freedom of expression in our society. We need to recognize trauma as a mental illness threatening many lives.

However, what we don’t need is the censorship surrounding traumatic experiences.

I was 19 when I watched my first stand off movie, “Set It Off”. The movie had some scenes about racism, violence, sex, robbery and murder. Today, some might find the movie triggering and offensive.

I don’t remember if there were any trigger warnings at the beginning of the movie. And even if there was, I would have watched it anyway because I have always been a curious person.

In my first year at the University, my roommates and I had gone to a freshmen’s party. My girlfriend sneaked out the back with a guy she met at the party and almost got date raped.

Luckily, we got there before they could do any real damage. But the place we found her was filthy, reeking of alcohol and drugs.

Some people would have been traumatized after that experience. I know I was shocked to discover such a place exists in real life. And I avoided going to clubs and parties for some time.

The fear that “it could have been me” lingered in my head for a while. I had seen movies where guys spike girls drinks and rape them.

I became conscious whenever I went out and avoided leaving my drink open for whatever reason. If I go to the restroom without finishing my drink, I won’t drink it again.

I had created some self-defence mechanisms from the movies I watched relating to trauma. So when my friend was in danger, I knew what to do without risking my safety.

But today, people often find a way to aggrandize their trauma rather than resolve them.

I remember Selma Gomez’s speech during the 2016 American Music Award. The singer and actress struggled with depression after a lupus surgery and felt broken despite having everything.

She owned up to her trauma and was grateful for life despite her tragic experiences.

She gave a message that “You do not have to stay broken,” after a traumatizing experience. And I think this is the key point we miss when we impose censorship on trauma-themed content.

A trigger alerts readers or viewers to violent and disturbing content that could include sexual assault, racist violence, and transphobic or homophobic comments.

For survivors of physical violence, sexual abuse or other trauma, certain images, sounds, smells or other memories can trigger intense emotional or even physical reactions, such as panic attacks in adults.

Nowadays, trigger warnings are more about emphasizing the upsetting nature of certain topics than about accommodating people who have experienced traumatic events.

I’m surprised to see people get upset about things that should not be dangerous. Some people take offence when your belief contradicts theirs or when you make a comment they dislike.

The excessive use of trigger warnings can result in people opting out of learning experiences can could be productive for them.

Most times we expect trigger warnings on films and news about racism, sexual assault murder or suicide. But when someone demands a trigger warning on an article about an eating disorder or two animals fighting, you can’t help but call out “trigger warning” bullshit.

I think we have become too soft and incapable of handling any emotional discomfort. Trigger warnings are not intended to regulate our emotions. It should not be used as a coping mechanism.

What trigger warning does is signal to survivors of abuse or trauma that they need to “pause and breathe” when they feel triggered. It reminds them to be particularly aware of the skills and coping strategies that they have developed and to switch them on.

A study conducted by a Professor at the University of Nottingham revealed the impact of trigger warnings on students.

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Gust described how a slide presentation might note that the next slide references mutilation, or that the following passage includes a graphic description of sexual violence.

He said the warnings don’t allow students to skip the class reading assignments, but instead remind students to use their coping strategies and “keep breathing,” Gust wrote.

A trigger warning does not give permission for students to skip class, avoid a topic or choose alternative readings.

However, trigger warnings are necessary adjustments for students who hold in their bodies one of the most prevalent but also most disabling of wounds — trauma.

Like adjustments for dyslexia, they do not solve the challenges of being different, they simply make it easier to navigate the difficulty of living in a world that assumes certain norms.

Trigger warnings remind students who may not have suffered a trauma or may never have faced prejudice and abuse, that these experiences happen. They tell students that they are sitting in a class with people with different life experiences and they cannot take for granted that their personal story is the norm.

Gust says as a teacher trigger warnings remind him to think carefully about how he presents materials and to consider the potential diversity of experiences in his classroom. It helps him to think carefully about the language he uses and how to frame the topic.

In other words, trigger warnings should remind everybody, regardless of our personal history, to keep breathing, and to think carefully and compassionately about what we are learning.

It is an indication that learning is, and should be, challenging and that everyone should be open to learning, whether from personal experiences or from those of others.

I know this may sound insensitive to some people, however, emotional control is something we all should learn so we can accommodate other people’s feelings without compromising our mental health.

We become emotionally mature by facing our fears not by avoiding them. I feel sad when I see people carry their trauma throughout their lifetime, afraid of socializing to avoid reliving a bad experience.

To everyone who has experienced a traumatic event in life, I want to tell you that you are more than that experience and you should not be defined by them.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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