
The problem is not you, it’s me, I’m going to not upset you more… etc.
You must have heard the words at least once in your life. No matter how much you try to make the time you spend with your loved one beautiful, and you do very good things for her, here is the end of the job.
So why is the result like this when you do everything you can?
In the meantime, I will avoid using cliché words in the article, and I will share my more specific and clear thoughts.
Women and men are not incredibly different. At least in terms of reacting to behavior. Otherwise, of course, there are many differences. In general, you expect attention from your lover. Of course, as long as everything is in moderation, this job is good. In general, it is important not to overdo it in all aspects of life. But when we’re in love, it’s hard to curb it, isn’t it? I think you’re one of those people who can’t stop themselves.
Showing Too Much Attention
As you can all guess, the main situation is that the more attention you show on someone, the further away they are from you. This seems like a universal rule to me, but why does it repeat itself? Why did we make this mistake again after we did it the first time? Because that’s how our brain works. We are addicted to dopamine at the moment. In general, to experience this feeling, to delve into dreams, your belief that the lack of love you see from people will be covered, my belief.. . When we do this behavior, we come back to all those feelings that we are trying to get rid of.
So how do we stop doing this?
Here, my dear friend, this is a very critical point. I describe this moment as emotional maturation. This feeling develops when they teach us some things that are heartbreaking and that there is no expectation from people in general. When you stop daydreaming like a stupid lover, you will find that you are much stronger in life, but for that, your heart has to be broken a few times. After these breaks, people realize that. Why am I doing this to myself? You don’t have a passion for certain things. For example, I shot a movie for a girlfriend and played it in the cinema. It was a huge surprise, but after the surprise, everything was ruined. Because at that moment she realized that I was in her pocket. I would do whatever she said, the process would develop as she wanted, she already knew that I would come to the meetings by buying flowers, so she was not surprised by the flowers I gave, it continued like this (I won’t tell you what I did here, but many surprises had no taste for her and me anymore.) and we finally broke up. Then I had another girlfriend. This time, I was so hurt in my previous relationship that my trust was broken, I didn’t feel like giving any surprises to my lover. So, of course, things didn’t go very well, this time I started to do nothing.
But now I’ve become someone who knows the dose. This was my last lesson on this subject. As much as everyone needs, no more, no less. Learn to control your attention, so that’s what I’m saying.
Don’t Tell People Everything
People talk, gossip, and then continue as if nothing happened. If you have a relationship, you don’t have to tell everyone about its content. This is your affair, not theirs. So your lover may have offended you, may have said something you did not like. The best thing to do is to go and talk to your girlfriend, not people who don’t care about their problems. I’m sure they’ll give you helpful ideas at that moment, but they won’t be able to see the whole thing. Maybe your girlfriend acted like this that day out of a nuisance, but your friends might find her behavior saucy. Never let people comment on your relationship.
Keep everything good that happens between the two of you.
Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day
Everyone envies lovers in movies. Those tremendously beautiful activities, the increased heartbeats, and many more beautiful moments. But it should not be forgotten that these are movies. If you want your lover to treat you this way, it will not happen all at once. Relationships are a process. The more we fall and get up, the more we grow. When you get to know each other, maybe you will be able to tell an event with one look, but don’t try to make it happen right away, let the process progress. Just enjoy the process…
As a Result…
Don’t act like a clingy kid, make him feel that you have your own pleasures, that you have a life and that you are not in your pocket. Have good times with him, but keep it all between you, not to show off, do it because you are happy and enjoy every second of your relationship, do not rush anything. If it can happen, say it will happen. I love you, I hope we all have beautiful love stories.
Stay with love,
Valerio
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Previously Published on medium
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