One day I was scrolling through Instagram like I normally do and there was this post from one woman. She and her husband are both celebrities, and I was a fan of their work. (I won’t be disclosing their real names).
The post was about her telling her fans that she wanted to share some interesting news with them later that day.
Then the comments section exploded with comments asking if she was pregnant.
By the way she replied to the comments you could tell she was annoyed.
Turns out she was launching a cookbook.
Now the couple has been married for a long time but it’s none of our business. I won’t lie—I’ve asked myself why they don’t have a child yet, but I know it doesn’t concern me.
In fact, whenever I see a woman who doesn’t have children, I ask myself why, especially if they are in their 30s or 40s.
I don’t know why I ask myself this question. I could say that society has programmed me this way but that’s not the only thing I question. I ask myself a lot of questions every single day about things I see and stuff I’m curious about. Single and childfree women happen to be among the things I’m curious about.
When it comes to single women, I don’t think there’s really much judgment, most of the time you find that it’s your family that’s asking questions like;
When are you getting married?
Aren’t you getting too old?
Who’s going to marry you now?
And if you have a persistent parent, brother, or sister they start setting you up with potential partners.
Sometimes they do this out of love, but it might be annoying to you especially because maybe you have an older brother who is 45 and no one presses him to marry like they do to you.
There are a number of reasons people do what they do and they don’t owe any person any explanation. We pry into other peoples’ lives and expect them to explain to us everything they do especially if it’s something that appears normal to everyone.
Imagine how it would be if you were a woman, you don’t have kids no one knows why but every single turn you make it’s people making conclusions and asking you why you don’t have kids.
It’s intrusive.
It’s rude.
It’s none of anyone else’s business.
Whether it’s a personal or medical decision no one should bombard a woman with such questions.
And Being Treated Like Victims
I never understood the phrase ‘what a man can do a woman can do better’ until now. It’s not about strength or what a person can do it’s about women being treated like they are not enough without a man.
Every person has their own potential but sometimes no matter how much a woman achieves, without a man by her side the world sees her as a charity to be helped.
Single and childfree women being treated like that I don’t think it’s about the laws we are putting in place or abolishing some. It’s a mindset that people have. It’s not something that should be forced on people so that they see women differently. If it’s forced then that means it’s a lie, we are only lying to ourselves.
I believe God created women so beautiful, and intelligent… and men have amazing abilities too. We’re obviously better together than apart but that doesn’t mean someone should be discriminated against because they don’t check our boxes for being the perfect woman.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean? | My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence |
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Photo credit: Raphael Nast on Unsplash