We are more than our minds currently know in all of its seriousness.
Do you ever find yourself thinking about how a better off you were back as a kid? Or when you actually had a real job?
You didn’t have the time to take your life so seriously, right?
I’m not talking about reflecting on your life here. I’m talking about the good old fashioned disease that happens in real-time while we’re being serious. Call it overthinking. Perfection. Or self-censorship. Fear. Regret. Or whatever puts you down.
Recently, I’ve been procrastinating with my writing.
I felt a lack of direction. Who am I in all of this? Why can’t I write like I played soccer with the kids in the back yard? Why do I try to sabotage myself?
I needed to push the reset button, so I went back to one of my forming experiences.
When I got the first real job that I decided to keep for more than a month, I worked in a corporate restaurant.
I was inexperienced but deadly serious.
It made my life a walking hell. My face looked like I’m about to play tennis at the Wimbledon finals but my body was too slow, too clumsy and with too many tables to handle at once.
People usually visit restaurants in waves. It’s not likely they will come one table at the time and make a waiter’s life any easier.
To survive this new kind of situation, I needed to invent someone different from me who always appeared serious and reserved in public.
By default, I’m an introvert. I’m a closed shell outside out of my social circle. My girlfriend often jokes about me being socially awkward, but she’s right up to a point.
In order to survive and catch up with the busy summer nights at the restaurant, I had to adapt and reawoke a mantra from my childhood. Keep it simple, keep it fast and keep it playful.
This new person was clumsy form the outside, but alive from the inside like a matador who dances with fire. With some decent effort and experience, the outside and the inside me formed a closer alliance.
SIMPLE
We get to a certain age, we gather some knowledge and we start to think of ourselves as smart and developed individuals.
In reality, we overthink everything. Our past becomes a burden. Shit piles up.
We’re the grown-ups now, right?
We put enormous pressure on ourselves to get a serious grip on our lives. We should know things by now, predict them and act accordingly.
Then life just smashes us inside out with the same lessons over and over again. Too much choice, too much baggage, and too many automatic expectations.
By using the restaurant analogy, life can be simplified. When I opened my eyes, really looked at the people and felt their vibe, I figured out it could be only one of four things. Coffee, beer, wine, cocktail or juice. Water is the default.
Sure, everybody got their menu, but I helped them to simplify the process and make the decision they already made for themselves.
This also helped me. This made me more than a water boy.
Also, I simplified my act of service. I didn’t try to seduce my guests or demand from them to like me. I asked them to use me.
There are a couple of steps in every challenge and yet, we manage to complicate them by trying to add a special flavor too fast. Instead, it’s more natural and organic to leave the dessert for the end. There are times and places for our special needs. Most likely, it’s at the end when the real work is done.
What does this mean?
If I’m a waiter, I’m taking an order. I welcome my guests, then I ask what can I get them. When they order, I’m gone. That’s the job. Nothing less, nothing more. Bottom line — there’s no need to desperately force something spectacular to happen in life, writing or anywhere. It will happen when we forget about it. It will show itself when we’re deep in our basic tasks.
FAST
Different situations demand different levels of energy. When the heat is up, our body will naturally respond. We don’t need to add anything. We just need to listen.
I’m not talking about speed in terms of crushing the world record at 100 yards. I’m talking about something that could be called the speed of the soul.
It’s also known as the flow.
You know when you’re in the flow. Or in the now. Time becomes your friend in those moments. You feel light, at ease and you just surf through the momentum.
The simplicity of steps gets us to a flow state, and a flow state gets us in touch with our playfulness.
PLAY
Every job or any challenge in life is unique. Different people bring different stories but they all might appear hard and boring to us if we forget how to play. Back on my soccer field, I did my best to create a little game every second. Every touch of the ball, every shot or assist was like a piece of art to me. I enjoyed the damn thing.
It was a vehicle to express the beauty and the sweetness of my own existence.
Sometimes it was a funny game. Another time it was all serious, but it was still a game. Sometimes, people would get angry, offended and take it out on me.
That was also a game. I learned this from one of my biggest mentors who worked in a corporate restaurant.
When a guy shouted on him because of waiting too long for a drink, my mentor put everything down, straighten up, approached the guy and spoke him with a firm voice:
Sir, if you think that I will not do everything that’s in my power to take care of you, you’re awfully wrong.
The guy calmed down and smiled after a while like a nurtured baby.
What just happened there?
Did he threaten him to beat him or did he provide the ultimate personal service for the guy?
It doesn’t matter. It was a play that came out of the simplicity and flow of one particular moment. It was beautiful like a piece of art and it did the work.
THE TAKEAWAY
We usually get lost in our own heads.
When I look at the mirror next time and see that serious face that seems to be aging, I’ll remember:
- I’m probably in fear
- I’m complicating it which means I’m out of action
- I’m overthinking it
- I’m stuck in some form of regret
- Or I’m worrying too much
Keep it simple, keep it fast and keep it playful.
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This post was previously published on Medium and is republished here with permission.
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