—
Looking at myself growing older, I’ve come to an inflection of sorts. My dear friend Cheryl challenged my perception of myself as old. She asked, “What if you looked at yourself as ‘wise’ rather than ‘old’?”
I wondered; I really hadn’t considered the possibility before. I had never thought of myself as wise. Although, in the time that remains, I hope to discover what it is to be wise. So what is it to be wise? Wisdom isn’t more knowledge. It’s not about more, better and different. Wisdom seems more in the discovery of self and in the world of people.
Perhaps, wisdom is available in growing older, in the discovery. Bruce Lee said, “True knowledge is self-knowledge.” About 28 years ago, after I first started working my friend Ross, who was a couple years younger than I was, he said, “Don’t get good at something you don’t like doing.” Wisdom occurred. I got it.
Wisdom is out there. You don’t necessarily have to look for it. You have to be open to it. Let wisdom discover you.
I’ve spent several years training in the evolution of Werner Erhard’s work with my Senseis Jerome and Richard. My epiphany: Life inherently has no meaning or significance other than the meaning or significance that I assign. In that moment when I get that I choose who I am right now, I have the freedom to be.
Werner’s transformational moment occurred when he drove across the Golden Gate Bridge years ago. At the Stanford University Conference on Compassion, Werner said, “I realized I wasted my life running after things that had no value and hiding it with the knowledge I could gain . . . Everything I knew was ‘in order to;’ I didn’t know anything for itself.”
Werner said, “Nothing was inherently significant. That left me free to be and free to act.” He discovered what it is to be human. Distinguishing our human design is wisdom. Werner’s distinctions landed for me through Jerome and Richard, each of whom Werner taught.
So, nothing is inherently significant other than the significance we give it. Like Werner says, once I got that, what there is yet to do is to make a difference in life for others. That becomes my authentic self-expression.
Giving up my significance granted me a loving relationship with my Dad toward the end of his life. Jerome taught me that I had to give up being right about love looking “my way,” and to forgive Dad. Forgive myself, as well. Jerome taught me the life-altering lesson of compassion. Wisdom is in compassion.
O-Sensei reminds us: “True victory is victory over oneself.” In the human design my greatest enemy is myself. Surrender to my humanity. Have compassion for others, and most of all have compassion for yourself. Cheryl often reminds: “Be kind to others. Be kind to me.” She is wise. Kindness is wisdom, as well.
There’s a lot of unkindness in the world: #Metoo and the mass shootings in schools. So what do you do? Well, have compassion. Authentically get others: Who they are; what they’re up to in the world. Recreate another person, and leave them with the experience that they are indeed “gotten”. Getting others is the beginning of compassion.
Maybe part of wisdom is getting profoundly that the world doesn’t revolve around you. Wisdom looks for the greater in others, and for the greater within you.
Over the years, I get that I can only do my best. Use my powers for good, not evil. Discover the strength in others, not dwell upon the weakness or frailty. Look with kindness and compassion upon me as well.
No, I’m not wise, yet. Though Cheryl, I dedicate to become wiser. May everyone aspire for wiser on their journey. Really, we all want to make a difference. There’s wisdom in that as well.
—
What’s your take on what you just read? Comment below or write a response and submit to us your own point of view or reaction here at the red box, below, which links to our submissions portal.
◊♦◊
Get the best stories from The Good Men Project delivered straight to your inbox, here.
◊♦◊
Sign up for our Writing Prompts email to receive writing inspiration in your inbox twice per week.
—
Photo credit: Pixabay