Today’s world is faced with a vortex of identity associations and attributions; am I manly, womanly, cisgendered, or something else entirely? The art of manliness is not in any way antiquated, but has continued to evolve contextually along with the growth and development of society.
Men should be specimens of might and virility, expressed by their captivating physical characteristics.
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Do I consider myself manly? I don’t know, but I don’t really spend a lot of time dwelling on it and I consider that, in itself, a manly quality. “To be a man, you must be swift as a coursing river,” and all that jazz.
Let’s dwell for a bit.
Dwelling Point #1: Men in Antiquity
Some of the earliest ideals of manliness may be represented by one of antiquity’s greatest philosophers; as once denoted by Socrates, “It is a disgrace to grow old through sheer carelessness before seeing what manner of man you may become by developing your bodily strength and beauty to their highest limit.” This homocentric ideal is based on the most basic phenotypic characteristics. Men should be specimens of might and virility, expressed by their captivating physical characteristics. In a hunter and gatherer or agrarian society, this would be your Hero Archetype.One could argue that men didn’t have very much time to consider the deeper aspects of masculinity while they were busy defending their territory, food sources, and families.
In the waning years of the Agricultural Age, one could argue that we saw oral history’s (Tall-Tale) archetypal death of the antiquarian ideal man. John Henry, strong and physically capable of chopping his way through a mountain, was the greatest railroad worker that had ever been. That is, until along came the steam engine made by a more clever individual, which proved the downfall of the great specimen of agrarian masculinity.
Dwelling Point #2: Enter the Mind
It would seem that at some point in social development, when dangers of starvation and direct physical harm become more distant to the day-to-day struggle, the ideals of manliness redirect toward the masculine faculties of the mind. Once expressed by the Great Roman Marcus Aurilius, “To be moved by anger is not manly, but courtesy and kindness, as they are more agreeable to human nature, so also are they more manly; and he who possesses these qualities possesses strength, nerves and courage, and not the man who is subject to fits of rage and discontent. The nearer one’s mind is to freedom from anger, the nearer it is to strength, and as pain is a characteristic of weakness, so also is anger. For he who yields to pain and he who yields to anger, both are wounded and both submit.”
Is it impossible for a woman to embody these characteristics of “manliness?” I don’t think so.
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Aurelius’ words serve as a bridge between the physical and mental definitions of masculinity likening pain, as a characteristic of corporeal weakness, to anger, which both symbolize a wounded and submitted state. This where my definition of “being a man” and “being a wise man” merge; it’s not that men are devoid of weaknesses, but that they are aware of their weaknesses and the affect of external forces on their selves.
A commonly quoted Chinese proverb reads, Cōngmíng de rén zuò chū zìjǐ de juédìng, hé wúzhī de rén zūnxún zhōngguó de gōngzhòng yúlùn, “A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows public opinion.” Let’s deconstruct the first word of this quotation: Cōngmíng, styled Kongming in the Wade-Giles system of Romanization, was the common name of a great man of the Warring States period San Guo, Zhuge Liang. Kongming exhibited an incredible mental prowess through his aptitude for battlefield strategy, and wisdom in court affairs. In Mulan’s definition of a man, this might be, “mysterious as the dark side of the moon.” The Hanyu word “cōngmíng” literally means intelligent, placing great emphasis on one’s mental faculty. In Chinese society, teacher’s often reference this great man when describing the top students of their various grade levels.
Dwelling #3: Manliness in Today’s World
In today’s world we have more comforts, securities, and time than we’ve ever had before. The internet has given us an unprecedented connectedness and a platform for discussion of any and every quality a mind can construct. Masculinity in today’s world, in my humble opinion, is what supersedes all of the different discourses of its definition. Manliness is intrinsically that which is, was, and always will be. It is a constant, balanced, and stable force. It is in its own right wise and capable, accountable and respectful. Is it impossible for a woman to embody these characteristics of “manliness?” I don’t think so. Along with the transformation of gender roles, masculinity has adapted to a new social context, like water: shapeless, formless. As Bruce Lee once said, “When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash.” This is the art of manliness.
Tell me, who would honestly look at a Marine injured in service, but who continues to contribute to their family as a father, or to a quadriplegic who leads in groundbreaking scientific discovery despite their physical condition as less than manly?
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In the past decade, gender roles and identities have gone through their own renaissance, which has made some cast aside the idea of manliness in modern culture. How can manliness exist in a culture where gender roles are more fluid and based on equity than in most any culture found in antiquity? Should not “manliness” be replaced with the word “humanness?”
I believe that the answer lies in the manly qualities of acceptance and adaptability that maintain their value regardless of social change Reference again the words of Aurelius and the Chinese proverb. If we were to only accept the antiquarian concept of physical prowess, then it would completely diminish the ability of a man who has remained strong and constant in mind as their physical bodies have eroded due to illness or injury. Tell me, who would honestly look at a Marine injured in service, but who continues to contribute to their family as a father, or to a quadriplegic who leads in groundbreaking scientific discovery despite their physical condition as less than manly? This is the root of manliness in today’s world.
What’s your take on what you just read? Comment below or write a response and submit to us your own point of view or reaction here at the red box, below, which links to our submissions portal.
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We don’t need to expand the definition of “manliness,” we need to blow it up. In modern times, it has all the significance and meaningfulness as “femininity,” which is to say, not much at all beyond stereotypes. There are strong men and weak women; there are strong women and weak men. Men stand by women’s sides and women stand by men’s sides. Some identify themselves by a different gender than their original biology would suggest; others identify with no gender at all. Yes, men and women are different, and face different challenges and opportunities (which is why “The Good Men… Read more »
Yes, it does. https://goodmenproject.com/author/dustin-lehmann/
First of all, that bit with the Chinese proverb is just embarrassing. Congming = Intelligent Kongming = A guy’s courtesy name The two has nothing to do with each other. It’s not even a good pun. The Wade-Giles rendition of Congming is Tsungming. That nonsense aside, is there a reason why men can’t be tough/aggressive today, in the way as “agrarian masculinity” or any other? Usually, when people want masculinity to change, it’s because they fear masculinity. They’re afraid of social inequality, of discrimination, of tribalism, and above all, the intrinsic male tendency to differentiate and judge things based on… Read more »
“How can manliness exist in a culture where gender roles are more fluid and based on equity than in most any culture found in antiquity?” How can it? It HAS existed and will continue to exist. All that you find in what you call “fluidity” has been in existence all along. The difference is that now it’s being recognized, being brought into the light.
I still believe that masculine and feminine energy exist but these days gender is no longer the container for them. A man can have so called feminine qualities and a woman can have masculine qualities. I think the challenge of the day is detecting which qualities you embody and embarrassing them. Great article
“Tell me, who would honestly look at a Marine injured in service, but who continues to contribute to their family as a father” I’m laughing. I’m that guy, and as I get older, nothing of my manliness has changed. First, I know the man that I was. Second, I know the man that I am. Yes the body has grown weaker, but the spirit has not. That balance comes from within. As the body weakens the mind strengthens. This is why the word has a place with me. If society does not seek to accept that, that’s on them. No?… Read more »
Well stated DJ and I completely agree
The body does get weaker, but I’ve associated both a physically strong man with manliness and a physically weal man who stands up for himself and others even in the face of insurmountable odds with manliness. It’s that whole you don’t need any guys to fight when you know you’re going to win kind of thing. It takes a lot of courage to know you’re going to get your a** kicked, but fight anyway because it’s the right thing to do.
Well-done to Marcus Aurelius! Courtesy and kindness are “manly”. Thanks for digging up that quote, Jacob 🙂
Yes of course it does. I’m not the manliness of men, but other hand, I’ve never run from a fight when it’s the right thing to do. It’s about discernment. Stupid stuff I won’t fight. Serious stuff I’ll be right there by your side. So yes. We need all men to show up. And women too. By our sides. When it’s the right thing to do.
No matter what, we need men with many of the traditional alpha strengths. The world is violent. The countries need major repairs.
Yes the world is violent Tim. But not just alpha men can rise to this occasion. We’re all soldiers of ww2 alphas? Hardly. But they knew what they had to do.
I think the word manly should have a place in the modern world. There are those desperate to associate maleness with wrongness. Their solution being that men / boys need to become women / girls.
The issue is that masculinity and femininity each bring something unique to the table. We’ve come far, but I don’t believe that the last page has been written. There are still challenges ahead. Somehow I just don’t see society sending a dozen women to an unexplored planet to make sure it’s safe for men to go.
We seem over emphasis on manliness too much at the expense of femininity. We need to have a proper balance of both.
If you’re saying that “femininity” is slowly being eliminated and replaced, I agree with you. There is just as much push back against femininity as there is masculinity.