World’s Most Underrated Dating Advice

The work to pleasure ratio of dating is uneven. So much that’s it painful.

The work to impress is never-ending until you get married. Marriage is where most let maintenance slide.

But what if your focus added to the illusion of hard work? Making you think you have to be your best self now for your soulmate.

Someone wants to grow with you.

Here’s how you learn to grow by yourself first without the self-imposed pressure.

Success is only patience.

Patience is more than doing the same thing every day and hoping it will work for you.

The aim is to keep trying until you have more confidence within yourself.

Many times, we start with external-based goals. Then realize we need to dig deeper within ourselves to become better.

Other times, you start with mind work. Then realize loving your body supports your mental health.

Sometimes, a single person focuses so hard on finding their soulmate. They miss the other good relationships in their life.

In many ways, healthy platonic relationships are preparing you for healthy romantic ones.

Waiting is a challenge.

But patience creates opportunities for reflection. It’s within these moments that time sucks and investments become clear. This clarity helps you find your way to your definition of dating success.

Consistency outweighs intensity.

Dating is first a numbers game for most. You may know this already, but most people are onions. You need to peel back their layers; see if you’re jumping to conclusions or if things are not as they seem.

If after three dates things are not looking good, move on. Even consider having a cry or throwing an object.

Know the date beyond their label.

If you often get to know your dates a little more than what meets the eye, you will keep dating. Rather than getting burnout. Why? Because you give people a chance to blow up your preconceived notions and bias.

So, when you see more dating profile pictures, you’re less likely to jump to conclusions.

Consistency allows positive progress, which helps you to keep trying.

Will you give someone a chance to prove you wrong?

Learn from people you dislike.

There are a lot of behaviors considered red flags. You may have already decided the ones worst to you.

But why only judge the offender?

Someone doing an activity you deem a red flag is a learning moment.

Learning is possible because you tried:

• Showing kindness to the victim of the behavior.
• Looking for ways to ensure you don’t repeat their actions.
• Distancing yourself from the person.

Learning is unlikely because you tried:

• Siding with the offender to save face.
• Telling the person, they are wrong without explaining why.
• Continuing to give this person your time.

It is easy to see someone’s misdemeanors.

You know what you don’t like and lookout for these signs. But seeing only the flaws of others makes you even more blind to your imperfections. Soon you’ll think I’m so great, and there is no one to match my vibe, opinions, and energy.

That’s only natural when you have a one-sided outlook.

Study the people you don’t like. Beyond their red flag behavior, how do they respond to feedback on their actions?

Do they apologize, then repeat the offense?

The person we dislike often makes excuses and breaks promises of being a better human.

Someone can consider your red flag offensive. But how you react afterward can make your date still want to give you a chance.

It’s true.

So, learn to react to situations better by studying the failures of people you don’t like.

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Previously Published on medium

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