the version of you that people miss is not the version you need to be.
they loved who you were, not who you’re becoming
people fall in love with a moment of you. the you who said yes to everything. the you who stayed small so they could feel big.
and when you start growing when you set boundaries, when you say no they call it changing. like it’s a bad thing.
like you owe them consistency more than you owe yourself evolution.
growth feels like betrayal to people who benefit from your stagnation
the people who loved the old version of you got comfortable with who you were.
your growth makes them uncomfortable. because when you change, it forces them to look at themselves. to question whether they’re growing too.
so they ask: “what happened to you?” like you’re broken. like the version of you that needed less, asked for less, tolerated more was the real you.
but that version wasn’t more real. she was just more convenient.
you don’t owe anyone an explanation
you don’t need to justify why you’re different now. why you don’t laugh at the same things. why you’re not as soft, as patient, as willing to shrink.
growth is not a betrayal. it’s survival.
some people will leave, and that’s okay
when you outgrow the version of yourself that people fell in love with, some of them won’t follow.
and it will hurt. but staying small to keep people comfortable hurts more.
you are not required to remain the same person forever just because that’s who they met.
you are alive. and alive things grow.
the people who are meant to stay won’t need you to stay the same. they’ll see you set boundaries and won’t call it cold. they’ll witness your evolution and say: “I’m proud of you.”
you are allowed to be different. you are allowed to outgrow the version of you that everyone fell in love with.
because that version served her purpose. she got you here. but she doesn’t have to carry you forward.
the truest version of you is the one you’re becoming.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: sarandy westfall On Unsplash
