You Will Never Be Happy

Well, you will, but it is fleeting…like an ice cream on a hot day….ah that’s nice, then boom..where did that go?..so quickly gone. Happiness has no substance, it shifts and moves, blown around like leaves in the wind, so dependent on circumstances, on other people, on uncontrollable forces…..so leave it alone.

Instead, seek contentment. That does not rest in other people, it doesn’t matter what you have or don’t have, it doesn’t shift like sand when things go wrong. Seek contentment. That, you can control and make happen.

So, if I can’t be happy..then I’ll be content..but what does that look like?

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”
― Lao Tzu

The answer lies in you. If you are secure in yourself, your abilities, your mind, your heart, you will feel content, regardless of what is happening around you.

Here are some of my thoughts on how to get content…or at least to get on that path.

Know yourself..really know yourself. What am I good at? Who do I like hanging with? What makes me laugh? Cry? Angry? Why do I react like that? Be honest, be brutally honest..no-one is listening anyway. If it helps, look yourself in the eye with a mirror. See the truth..or the lies! and know it. Once you begin to know you, you have to then like you..and better than that, love you. Love the good and the ugly and the bad and the…..all of you. Just love you!

Don’t seek other’s affirmation…you don’t need it and often it is so wrapped up with what they need, that you can’t even be sure they mean it. So, don’t go looking for it. If someone says goods things, well of course, smile and accept it…but don’t rely on it to give you a measure on how well you’re doing this life…you can do that if you know yourself and are honest with yourself.

Realise that the world reflects…if you are peaceful, more often than not people will be peaceful near you. If you are calm, people and situations will be calm around you. If you are positive, then events will often turn out positive..so be the way you would like others to be and it will be mirrored…not always, of course, but mostly…. and that will make you feel secure and then content.

Walk gently on this world. Be gentle with your own and other’s hearts. Be gentle with your words. Don’t speak if it’s not the truth, if it comes from a bad place or if it is designed to hurt.

Be vulnerable. Letting others see that you have failed, that you have lost, that you hurt, allows them to also be vulnerable and realise that they, like you will still be loved by those who matter…

Make sure you look after yourself…emotionally, mentally, and physically..then you will have plenty to give…time alone, time with your closest, exercise, meditation, prayer…..you choose, you know yourself.

Have open hands…never close them. Give generously to others, not just money, but your time, your thoughts and your love. But only when you have that to give..never empty yourself for others,

Be thankful, even when life is tough, you can always find something to be thankful for…a cup of coffee, a smile, sunshine, a new day.

So, be content…you will be amazed how much happiness that can bring..to others and to you.

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.

You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project

Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often

Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything