You Will Never Find the Perfect Relationship

I bumped into him and his partner at the store.

He was perfect. Big, brown eyes. Broad shoulders. And when I looked up at him, I could see the dimples on his cheek as he cracked a smile at me.

It was horrible timing.

I was on my way to see the guy I’d been dating for a month.

And as I showed up to the date, I froze. In fact, I felt a little bit nauseous. Even though I had been happily dating him, I didn’t expect to run into someone who seemed so perfect — so stunning.

“Is this the right guy?”. The question rang in my head.

I’ve read the articles. They’re everywhere. The ones that say if you even look — yet alone, think, someone else might be better for you then you’re in the wrong relationship.

But no, I wasn’t in the wrong relationship.

I was confusing infatuation for love.

Let’s get clear about something.

We have very high expectations for relationships.

We need to be fulfilled sexually. Spiritually. Mentally. Emotionally. Financially.

And we run away when one of these boxes isn’t checked.

Hell, sometimes we run away when all of these boxes are checked.

But in 99% of cases, we will be left disappointed.

Why?

We are raised in a world that says if your relationship isn’t perfectly hitting all of your needs, it is failing. And so, you should just move along until you eventually find what you want.

Here’s the truth.

There is no perfect relationship. You probably don’t have a soulmate. Actually, you might be keeping yourself miserable trying to find one.

We all have the capacity to love many people.

Because it’s not about finding “the one”. I’ve known many people that said they found “the one”.

Almost every one of those relationships is over.

Being in love with someone and loving someone is not the same. When the passion wears out (and it will), you’re left with a realization.

Loving someone is an act.

It’s intention. It’s purposeful. It’s making it work.

It’s waking up every day and navigating another human being. All of their beauty, but also, their flaws. The ways they’re perfect for you, and the ways they’re imperfect for you.

The ways they check your boxes, and the ways they don’t.