Your Not Being Vaccinated Is Hurting Me

Besides, I’ve already heard your arguments. They include the constant refrain that your sovereignty over your body isn’t hurting anyone else. You claim that I can just as easily spread the virus as you can, even though I’m vaccinated.

Let’s get that second one out of the way. Recent research shows that while I can carry the virus, and yes, infect you with it, you are 65% less likely to get it from me than from your unvaccinated buddy next to you in your church pew or at a political rally who won’t wear a mask. Since I wear a mask and won’t be at those places with you, there’s zero chance you’ll get it from me.

NBC news reports that scientists at the University of Oxford examined records of 150,000 contacts traced from nearly 100,000 original cases. That’s where the finding came from that you are 65% more likely to infect people than I am. For those who do their “research” solely on the internet, that number of research participants is considered highly statistically valid.

Plus, previous research indicates my Moderna vaccine is 93% effective in keeping me out of the hospital if I do get the virus. It’s 94.1% percent effective in preventing me from being infected in the first place.

Now, how is your not being vaccinated hurting me? Let me count the ways. Since it would be hyperbole for me to pretend to know how many others you’re hurting, yes, I am focusing on me.

I am a psychotherapist. Several of my clients deal constantly with heightened fear for themselves and their families because some members of their family won’t get vaccinated. Add to that the loneliness of being separated from them, and the arguments that ensue.

How does this affect me? It affects me because there are other reasons my clients came for help initially, and the tug-of-war over vaccines and masks has derailed the rest of therapy. Worse, I’m getting burned out dealing with it.

More than one client has lost an unvaccinated family member to the virus. As in, they died from it. The grief involved will take years to work through for these clients, and I want to be able to help them with it. I won’t be able to if all this infighting and deaths from variants continues.

Not only because of my potential burn-out, but also because there are added issues, such as anger and guilt, in addition to grief, when the relative who died from COVID argued with the client over getting vaccinated. My client inevitably feels they didn’t do enough to convince their relative. This causes complicated grief.

Complicated grief can, and often does, lead to chronic depression. Chronic depression requires longer healing and more interventions. This is becoming a vicious cycle. And in my opinion, an unnecessary one.

How else are the unvaccinated hurting me? I only have two friends who aren’t vaccinated. One nearly died of COVID while on vacation. She was on a ventilator for two weeks. We’ve been friends for over thirty years, and I’m not ready to lose her. She is one of the fortunate ones.

I’ve written about my other unvaccinated friend. After a close, ten year friendship, she walked out of my home and won’t speak to me. We navigated our differing political and religious views for all those years. This is the hill she chose to die on. I deeply hope that won’t be literal.

The mildest impact you’re having on me is the ongoing restrictions that keep life from becoming more normal for all of us. I’m as tired of not living life as we did pre-pandemic as you are. Not that we ever will, but closer to normal would help us all.

And while right now, right here, I’m focussed on how you’re hurting me, I am a therapist. I do care. Not just about my clients, their families, and my family, but also about you and yours.

Your not being vaccinated potentially hurts your family if you are hospitalized or die. Either of those hurts you.

Forget about me and the rest of the world, just do what it takes to protect you and your precious ones. And no matter what your internet, politician, or preacher tells you, that means getting vaccinated.

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This post was previously published on Medium.

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