The Atlantic just published “The Psychology of Feminism and the Queer Case of Hugo Schwyzer” by Raphael Magarik.
We have obviously parted ways with Hugo. He wrote many pieces for us that were engaging and controversial, but in the end we were clearly going in different ideological directions, as he even mentions in the piece: we are interested in affirming the goodness of men while Hugo is dedicated to pointing out our failings. We wish him well despite that ideological divide.
We do want to clarify our mission. The Atlantic piece gave a very partial view of what we work on every day to ensure this is an expansive discussion and movement.
1. Do we attempt speak for all men? No, our mission has always been grounded in personal narrative in which each writer describes a turning point in their life as a father, husband, son, worker, or just a man. There are as many turning points, narratives, and definitions of goodness as there are men. We welcome them all.
2. Are men and women different? Yes, beyond what we have in our shorts. The variety of men and the variety of women is unlimited, but we do try to grapple with the ways in which men who aspire to be good dads and husbands particularly have to navigate gender as an issue. That means talking openly about how some men feel misunderstood by some women, and vice versa. It also means talking about how lasting intimacy and love can flourish despite the different expectations that men and women might bring to romantic love.
3. Why does GMP exist? There simply is no other forum for a thoughtful discussion of manhood. Traditional media casts men in a simplistic out-of-date representation (think Bud Light or GQ), when most men in 2012 live a complex, nuanced life in which they have to sort out the meaningful masculinity and goodness in a vacuum.
4. Does GMP have a party line? No. Over 400 writers actively participate in generating content for the magazine. We have always aspired to a national conversation about manhood. A “conversation” by definition means that there are not set positions or doctrines of what is and is not an acceptable point of view on manhood, gender, politics, or anything else. Often, when readers disagree strongly with something they have read on GMP, we invite them to contribute a response, which we commit to publishing. Our philosophy is, the more varied the views on our site the better. As Tom Matlack said when he started our series of live events inside the walls of Sing Sing prison with a group of ten life-time inmates, “No one, and I mean no one, is excluded from the conversation about what it means to be a good man.”
5. How does GMP view feminism? Feminism is a label loaded with all kinds of different meanings to different people. There’s a body of academic and theoretical constructs which support modern day feminism. We are not a site devoted to theory. We focus on the real stories at the frontlines of manhood. As such, we are HIGHLY interested in talking about what it means to be a good husband, a good father, what role pornography plays in defining manhood, and issues like sex trafficking. That said, even on these controversial topics we are open to publishing a wide variety of different experiences and points of view. We are adamant about supporting equal rights for men and women and for talking openly about the situations where that is not the case. What we can’t do is adopt one ideology which prevents the kind of expansive discourse we aspire to. There are many of the GMP writers who self-identify themselves as feminists, including all of the founders and the CEO. But we refuse to accept a litmus test by which only feminism points of view are allowed on the site.
6. How does GMP feel about men’s rights and the MRA movement? We are strong supporters of men’s groups of a wide variety. We don’t see ourselves as endorsing one or another as these groups generally have a different more narrowly focused agenda than ours. With regard to men who affiliate themselves with the Men’s Rights movement, we do want to facilitate civil discussion around ways in which men have been misrepresented in the media, treated unfairly in family court, and been ignored when it comes to being victims of sexual abuse (among many other issues). We see these issues as central to our mission to deepen our collective understanding of what manhood and goodness looks like in the 21st century.
7. Does publishing a piece on GMP mean that the editorial team agrees with what the writer has to say? Absolutely not. In fact, we often publish pieces together which take the exact opposite points of view for the very reason that we want to facilitate thoughtful discussion.
8. Are there limits to what GMP will and won’t publish? We have recently revised our commenting policy to ensure that discussion is civil and constructive. We have also put a comment review procedure in place which will insure the policy is followed. With regard to editorial content itself we try to publish as much and varied material as we possibly can on our core manhood topic areas. But we won’t publish pieces that are intended to be hurtful or damaging by way of character assignation. And we do attempt to keep men’s voices front and center since our mission has always been to provide a forum for men to talk about manhood. Women are certainly welcome to the party but we want to insure that we stick to the mission.
9. Are men in crisis? Yes, but not the one that Hannah Rosen wrote about in “The End of Men.” There are as many different experiences of modern manhood as there are men. But one thing is for sure: men of all colors, occupations, sexual orientations, religions, economic status, and ages are searching for meaning in new and different ways. Many more men want to be involved fathers, even being the stay at home parent. Many more men don’t just want a physical relationship with their spouse but a deep emotional connection. Many men are re-evaluating the role of work in their lives and trying to sort out its importance relative to their home life. Many men are frustrated by the endless press covering men behaving badly and the seeming disinterest by mainstream media in real men who are trying to do the right thing in their lives.
10. What is the goal of GMP? To change the way men and masculinity are viewed in America and around the world. To provide a way for men who feel alone in their struggles–with parenthood, with divorce, with marriage, with professional success, with professional failure, with addiction, with abuse, with racism, with romantic love, with the search for meaning–to feel less alone and realize we are all in this together.
Hi, I’m not sure where to post this but I figure this is sort of a welcome new readers from the Atlantic type article so I’ll put it here. Can someone please explain how this website is supposed to work? Front Page Stuff: How does the front page organize articles? I see it broken into different topic sections but the stories displayed seem to change at random (or at least be some formula I have yet to divine.) Sometimes I find really old articles there. As an example, I’d like to see if there were any new updates on the… Read more »
Hi, thanks for stopping in. I’m the publisher, so I’ll answer your questions. The front page articles are mostly new up top, older post do rotate through randomly on categories where new stuff doesn’t get posted much. We have a lot of evergreen content, and 65% of our visitors are new, so there is no reason for a new visitor not to have access to some of our older, evergreen posts posts. As for the commenting section — great idea about trying to find a plugin for Most Recently Posted Comment. We hope to be starting a section of the… Read more »
To be fair, The Atlantic article was about feminism, which is a tangential issue to this forum. So its depiction of TGMP was bound be at least a little off-kilter, simply because the focus is in an entirely different direction.
I don’t know about that Copyleft. There is a difference between, “There’s the Good Men Project and that’s what they do, its different but oh well.” and the “They are just a bunch of woman hating anti-feminists over there.” sentiment that’s come out in the comments. This coming from folks that try to prop their movement up as the one movement in all of human history to be 100% on every issue (even when it comes to men) therefore if you disagree with them on anything you are automatically wrong. Kinda makes you wonder what they think of the feminists… Read more »
I wonder that too. I’m pretty used to finding allies in odd places. It’s just as hard, I think, to work collaboratively with people you may not agree with than to stand at poles. Both are often necessary though.
Forget that. Julie we should start a radical non-radical group for people who want to work with people we don’t agree with. Our opposition? The people on either pole. We will stand in the absolute center with our brothers and sisters and defeat those who stand to either side of us! 😉 lol
I am The Facilitatrix! I WILL MAKE YOU DISCUSS YOUR DIFFERENCES AND FIND A COMMON GOAL!
I am getting that on a t-shirt.
You make reasoned debate sound like something that should involve suspension… I approve!
Hee! I might know a thing or two about that….
There simply is no other forum for a thoughtful discussion of manhood. This, from Tom, is the most cogent and apt description of GMP I’ve ever read, a kind of mantra that all contributors should keep in mind, particularly because of the way The Atlantic has misinterpreted our thrust. Feminism is but one of the issues that we writers engage in GMP—and even among women feminism has infinitely varied meanings. I for one am glad Hugo will no longer have a voice on the site. Yes, he writes brilliantly, but in reading him I’ve always felt there was another agenda… Read more »
Dear egalitarian feminists, remember how the MRA’s get in such a fit over feminism and the whataboutthemenz shaming, privilege slinging, general non-acceptance of men in their movement, and how feminism is NOT for male issues to be helped? I’ve got some quotes from the comment section of the atlantic for you to peruse and it might illustrate the type of feminist many mra’s encounter. It’s the easiest way to understand why there are so many anti-feminists, and why there are quite a few mra’s or even just men who’ve felt like feminism wasn’t accepting of them. “The one comment that… Read more »
Oh my brother/sister testify!!
All male:P Though I’d look mighty dandy in a dress!:P
Really now? I personally have a horrible figure and a dress simply would not do for me. And I have really big feet.
Same, Danny. Well…except that my feet aren’t an issue when it comes to dresses, for obvious reasons. 😉
Well Heather what’s the point of a stunning dress when you don’t have the stunning footwear to go with it? If one is to “Work It” then one has to “Work It” properly!
Oh I thought you were referring to the joke about men with big feet have big penises and that you’d have a tough time tucking it back. I totally misunderstood that one. lol.
And omg that phrase ‘work it’ has been forever ruined by that sit-com. It makes me sad. 🙁 But that’s another topic.
Danny, from memory youve said that you are overweight.
Western style trousers look too tight and emasculating on overweight men.
Id encourage you to look at wearing wraps or a particularly the kilt(scots or utilkilt).
The larger the waist of the man, the more august, the more masculine the wrap or the kilt looks
http://www.lfgss.com/post969421-20504.html
All I can say is amen to stretchy fabric shorts. In the hot tropical north of Australia they are very comfy and not constrictive at all.
Mmmmm…. Oddly pants don’t seem to be much of a problem for overweight guys (at least not in my experience) as far as tightness and emasculation. Admittedly it can be rather difficult to find a clothes. You know how women say that its hard to find anything over a size ___? Same thing with men’s clothes (hell I recall going to an Old Navy years ago and seeing 36 waist pants stocked in the Big and Tall section). But kilts? No way. I have a set of tighs that forces me to buy pants that are acutally a bit too… Read more »
It is 100% true that feminism is the movement “of the women, by the women and for the women.” The men who try to participate in it are completely deluded. Equality is the shield of feminism which is only used to deflect valid criticism, otherwise it means nothing. I had once asked a feminist author who wrote a opinion piece on GMP as what feminism has ever done for men and she asked me to read a book written by a feminist scholar to find my answer.
So what do you call the feminists who believe in equal rights.
Some of the comments in there are typical “What about the menz” shaming. It made me sick just reading that section.
Danny was the only sane voice of reason in a sea of garbage.
You noticed that too Eagle? I know I’ve done my fair share of fire tossing when it comes to heated discussions but damn. Honestly I see reflections of my (not too) old self in some of the heat over there. But I’ll say this. I think some of those folks are letting their true colors show in that they think when it comes to feminism men must join up or we hate women and when we do we must be seen and not heard (unless of course we’re just echoing support for women). I’ll take the feminists over here any… Read more »
Thanks Danny. I don’t know how anyone could possibly think that having men “just stay quiet” and not talk about the issues they are experiencing could be helpful. Real activism benefits everyone, not just the silo of the day. Appreciate all your contributions to the discussions.
Precisely Lisa. I have no problem with women in and of themselves speaking on men’s issues and while I do think that women shouldn’t take the lead I’m not going to dismiss someone just because they are a woman.
Funny, trying to force someone into a position just because of their gender. There should be a word for that.
I don’t see any issue with a woman taking the lead of a men’s movement. If they have something worth saying they should say it. The whole insider thing when it comes to equality movements bothers me.
I can understand why it would be inappropriate if the individual in question had no experience of the issue whatsoever, but I don’t see how anyone can claim that a woman has no experience of manhood, unless she was brought up in a lesbian separatist commune or something. Same goes for women’s movements, outsider’s perspectives are invaluable.
I can understand why it would be inappropriate if the individual in question had no experience of the issue whatsoever, but I don’t see how anyone can claim that a woman has no experience of manhood… Its a matter of gender roles being so vastly different between men and women. Being raised as a one or the other can lead to a very different experience in even common things like clothing, job, or taste in media. So while it is certainly not impossible for a woman to have experience of manhood its just that for the most part the odds… Read more »
I didn’t mean to suggest that women know manhood from the inside better than men, but they might know what it looks like on the outside better. Kindof like that moment when you hear your own voice in a tape recorder and realise what you actually sound like to other people.
From reading the rest of that it sounds like we agree.
The Schwyzer issue was covered and commented upon at length here, so I agree with Tom that we’ve been there, done that.
Regarding gender roles, why are they often painted as a bad thing. Hey, if you find the traditional roles of your gender stultifying, you’re free to eject them, but for me, to paraphrase Chuck Heston, you’ll have to pry my valued gender identity and societal role out of my cold dead hands.
That made me laugh Mark. Thanks.
Love the quote…erm…paraphrase. 😉 But uh, to put in my opinion because I can’t resist….I think you are right and wrong at the same time when it comes to gender roles. Yes, people who don’t fit the mould can reject their gender roles (at least in the west). But even here, you face a heck of a lot of societal pressure to embrace them. Now because I’m a woman I am going to end up talking about this from a woman’s point of view. But like, okay I don’t want children. I have never wanted children. It is the most… Read more »
Funny that, I find most sports to be boring and totally tolerate lgbt people. But I also don’t care if people call me gay, even the guys. I’m still attracted to women so those guys better watch out as their partners might desire me instead. I find it hard to relate to some guys but there seems to be quite a few these days who aren’t into the stereotypical sports stuff, although I do love my SHED and love to tinker, build stuff, etc. Hopefully I’ll find a partner who also likes to build stuff and breaks the gender-role mold,… Read more »
“Maybe a man is simply someone that identifies as a man?” That’s usually how I treat most identities. Cynthia Nixon got a lot of flack for saying she was a lesbian, but also saying she’d had relationships with men and had chosen to be a lesbian. I kinda thought…well heck, if she wants to identify as a lesbian, let her. Most of my post, though, was just sort of to illustrate that it’s not easy for everyone to step outside their gender norms. That is why I think a lot of people want to get rid of them, because they… Read more »
Just on the Cynthia Nixon thing, words are important. Lesbian is usually defined as meaning a woman who is only attracted to women. Expanding that definition into biexuality leaves genuine Lesbians open to accusations of making an immoral choice etc.
One question. We have obviously parted ways with Hugo. He wrote many pieces for us that were engaging and controversial, but in the end we were clearly going in different ideological directions, as he even mentions in the piece: we are interested in affirming the goodness of men while Hugo is dedicated to pointing out our failings. We wish him well despite that ideological divide. Are we allowed to talk about the content of that article at The Atlantic about Hugo or is this pretty much limited to talking about the GMP is all about and talk of Hugo is… Read more »
Danny if you want to comment on Hugo, particularly the controversy that occurred after he left GMP, I would suggest you comment on the Atlantic article not here. Thanks for asking.
Fair enough.