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We’ve all been there. Remember the last time you suddenly found yourself in the heat of a very uncomfortable situation? A family member blew up at you. A friend or partner said or did something that pushed your buttons and sent you reeling. You felt a sudden rush of anger, fear, or sadness. You were being triggered by a comment or a situation, and in the moment, you felt out of control.
You reacted; you may have felt acute stress or had a fight-or-flight response as your brain perceived you were under attack, in danger, in harm’s way. Your heart rate increased, your blood pressure was elevated, your breathing became more rapid. You may have become flushed or pale, your muscles may have tensed. Within a few seconds, your body’s sympathetic nervous system had been activated affecting your adrenal glands and releasing cortisol. After the perceived threat is gone, it is said it takes between 20 to 60 minutes for the body to return to normal. For far too many people, the stress response is activated so frequently that the body literally has no time to recover. The accumulated stress can result in total depletion over time.
Considering how harmful this can be mentally and physically, wouldn’t it be worth it to be aware of an alternative so that we don’t become a slave to stressful situations where we are always in reaction mode? After a neck and back injury that left me in chronic pain, I was experiencing a high level of stress regularly. It was easy for me to become triggered—I was often in reaction mode.
Seeking relief on all levels, I discovered my spiritual path—Kabballah. I learned about an alternative to being reactive during stressful situations. It’s called the Proactive Method. It has been life-changing for me, and I want to share it with you. I even wrote a song called “On My Side” that reminds me the Universe always has my back and is always on my side. I have come to believe every situation, no matter what the initial outward appearance may be, is really coming to me to help me become my best self.
The Proactive formula is basically this…
- When a stressful situation arises, stop and acknowledge that it is from the Light (the Universe, the Divine) pushing you to grow or be your best self.
- Identify your reaction (anger, fear, sadness, self-pity, jealousy).
- Stop reacting. Allow the Light to come into the situation. Listen to your quiet inner voice.
- Now, from this place of quiet, almost as a witness to the situation, deal with it calmly.
Yehuda Berg describes it in the national bestseller, The Power of Kabbalah: 13 Principles to Overcome Challenges and Achieve Fulfillment.
He says, “here’s how we can change reaction to proaction.”
- “A challenge occurs.”
- “We realize that our reaction—not the problem—is the real enemy.”
- “We shut down our reactive system to allow the Light in.”
- “Now we need to express our Light nature with a proactive action of sharing.”
“The moment of transformation takes place during steps three and four. This is when our soul joins with the luminous dimension of Light…and, our action can now come from the side of the Light, not our ego.” (1)
Madonna shares on the front cover, “No hocus-pocus here. Nothing to do with religious dogma, the ideas in this book are earth-shattering and yet so simple.”
Practicing the Proactive formula has helped me move from what years ago felt like overwhelming stress to a much calmer state. My health has improved dramatically. I wrote a song “On My Side” to share what I’ve come to know—
One by one, I’ll face whatever you throw me.
One by one, we all fight to survive.
I’m on my own, but I’m no longer ignoring
That I’m not alone, I’ve got your love on my side.
View “On My Side” music video here:
Being proactive is light years beyond being reactive! The next time you are in a challenging situation, I invite you to try the Proactive formula. You may even find it to be life-changing, as it has been for me.
Lyrics for On My Side
Having trouble believing, please send me a sign
And quiet the voice that’s repeating in the back of mind
That says I can’t do it, that I can’t get it right
Time to push forward, no more pushing rewind
One by one, I’ll face whatever you throw me
One by one, we all fight to survive
I’m on my own, but I’m no longer ignoring
That I’m not alone, I’ve got your love on my side
On my side, on my side
When I’m wrong, when I’m right
When I’m dull, when I shine
On my side, on my side
The question we are obsessed with is why we’re alive
You see it your way and I see it mine
They say that beauty is in the beholder’s eye
And you can manifest destiny if you try
One by one, I’ll face whatever you throw me
One by one, we all fight to survive
I’m on my own, but I’m no longer ignoring
That I’m not alone, I’ve got your love on my side
On my side, on my side
When I’m wrong, when I’m right
When I’m dull, when I shine
On my side, on my side
I’ve got my battle armor on and I am ready to fight
For my brother, I would gladly give my own life
Strength of my father and my mother help to get me through the night
When I’m gone I hope my children will remember what I’m like
(c) 2014 MWS Recording, LLC
(1) Berg, Yehuda (2010) The Power of Kabbalah: 13 Principles to Overcome Challenges and Achieve Fulfillment. Los Angeles, CA: Kabbalah Publishing
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Photos provided by author