Imagine how it would feel if men and women could be with each other free of pressure, relaxed in their bodies and minds, authentic and real—nothing to prove, just free to be.
My name is Matthew Wade and I have a rock band, My Silent Bravery. My Silent Bravery symbolizes persistence, perseverance, and inner strength to overcome obstacles in the face of adversity. I recently released a song that tackles a deep-seated issue affecting girls and women that has been largely hidden or kept out of mainstream media until very recently. “Girl You Think You Know” addresses a topic that is the elephant in the room when it comes to social media.
See a live in-studio performance of “Girl You Think You Know”:
with Jim McGorman (Avril Lavigne, Gwen Stefani, Shakira, Ariana Grande, Julianne Hough)
Purchase the Billboard #3 Hot Single “Girl You Think You Know” here and get a free track—both for $1.49:
I came to write the song because I saw a phenomenon happening across social media where girls and women felt that they needed to project a “perfect” life on social media, which is not real or authentic. Sadly, this is affecting the well-being of one in three girls, a poll by the charity Girlguiding has recently found. There is a widespread need to portray one’s “best self” on social media; and unfortunately, it’s not always accurate and can be extremely misleading.
We all wish our online selves were authentic versions of ourselves, but the reality is they are far from it. A large number of girls and women seem to feel that unless this “perfect image” is in place, they will be completely rejected by men.
Taking the risk to be real is an “Act of Bravery” and infinitely more exciting and intriguing to men than superficial “perfection.” What men really want is for women to feel safe enough to share their true essence—their spirit. To be willing to share who they really are emotionally, including their “scars”—most of us have them. To feel good enough in their skin to share who they are physically, without false coverups. This kind of authenticity can lead to the adventure of a lifetime.
As a result of writing this song, and the incredible response it has gotten from women, I became even more empathetic to what girls and women are going through and it made me want to be a better man. It also became clear that the song was resonating with men even though it was about a woman. Through the song, I wanted to shed light on some of the things that we humans go through in life to feel accepted and loved. Ultimately, I hope the song will encourage both men and women to feel an enhanced sense of self-love, acceptance, and boosted self-esteem.
Watch the official music video here:
I host a weekly Facebook Live program on MSBTV that is in part viewed by my fan base, the “Bravehearts,” which is primarily female. I am grateful that they feel that they have a safe place to share their struggles and breakthroughs. Here, with permission, are a couple of their reactions to “Girl You Think You Know.” Become a “Braveheart” by signing up for my newsletter here, and instantly receive two of my top hits for free! Proceeds from the Braveheart’s wristbands, found at http://mysilentbravery.com/merchandise.html benefit the American Heart Association.
“Whether women admit it or not, we are fragile beings, and there is a thick wall of insecurities that we have about ourselves. That’s one of the reasons why I love your new song so much. It makes me realize that a male is noticing how we are spending so much time trying to be something we are not. Our natural beauty is dying on the inside, because we are failing to meet the beauty expectations that society has developed for women, because that is what we think that men want to see in order for us to have their attention. The excessive alterations to our physical looks are just painting a mask to hide insecurities. I’m not condemning men, because it goes both ways. I think the song is a message to find beauty from within ourselves instead of comparing us to the beauty standards that others are defining on a plethora of platforms.”
~Stephanie, age 35Don’t like ads? Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free“Listened to the new song. It’s so beautiful and so sad. Makes me think of the unrealistic expectations society and social media puts on us and the pressure we put on ourselves to be flawless and perfect. I see this every day in my generation. Most of us don’t meet those false expectations, yet there aren’t enough people out there who choose to see behind the veil to ground us and remind us we are beautiful without the makeup and other props. It takes a lot of guts to go against society and our unrealistic expectations. I think that’s why the suicide rate and use of illegal drugs and opiates is on the rise. We don’t always have the courage to ask for help. I have been on the edge of that cliff for a long time.”
~Hannah, age 15
While promoting “Girl You Think You Know,” I discovered The Good Men Project and I knew it was the natural place to continue this discussion and my life mission of helping inspire others to overcome their obstacles.
As men in this community, I feel one of our callings can be to help alleviate the intense pressure girls and women face and the perception that we will only be with them if they measure up to an idealized perfection. We have an unprecedented opportunity to step up for all the females in our lives, whether they are wives, daughters, sisters, or friends.
With the advent of the Harvey Weinstein scandal, and the #metoo movement on social media, followed quickly by the fallout of 30 Hollywood “power players” who are accused of sexual assault and harassment, I hope that this song can help show that there are males out there who are sensitive to this important subject, including me.
What I know for sure is “real power” has nothing to do with male domination, taking what we want no matter what the cost, or feeling entitled at the expense of others. Real power is being conscious of and in alignment with our true essence—our spiritual self.
It is my hope and belief that the members in this community can be a collective force for good in healing unnecessary pressure for girls and women on social media and in everyday life. Getting real and demonstrating authenticity is one of the most powerful things we can do.
For a limited time, download two of My Silent Bravery’s best songs free here.
“Girl You Think You Know” is available on iTunes, Amazon, Google Play, and Spotify.
Billboard magazine says, “My Silent Bravery plays like a major label signing, from its production savvy, eloquent lyrics, authoritative imaging, polished web site, a dedicated Northeast U.S. fan following, merchandising, and most important, a chockablock collection of winning songs. My Silent Bravery is destined to make major noise.”
Paste Magazine recently stated, “My Silent Bravery may be the best-undiscovered artist around.” My Silent Bravery is endorsed by Gibson.
Connect with me on social media…
Official Website: mysilentbravery.com
Twitter: twitter.com/mysilentbravery
Facebook: facebook.com/mysilentbravery
Share with me here your “Acts of Bravery” around this subject. What are you willing to do and how are you willing to be to show respect to the girls and women in your life? How can you help relieve this escalating pressure that girls and women feel?
Photos courtesy of author
Mathew you have a good message here, a sweet song – and sheer marketing genius! My British soul observes the extent of your self-belief/promotion with a certain amount of envy, but I can’t fault it.
I wonder if these pressures to have a perfect image differ from region to region. I live in the northwest and I’m not seeing what’s I this post. In fact, from my understanding, only times I see women put on an image is when they’re trying to attract particular types of architypical males, usually when their looks and attention are all they have to give, more or less. The other times I see the projection of a perfect image is usually with other females to navigate, maintain, and/or bolster themselves in the dynamics of the pecking order of their peers.… Read more »