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In Director Peter Chelsom’s Serendipity (2001), John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale play soulmates Jon and Sara. At the narrative arc, Jon and his best friend Dean, played by Jeremy Piven, fail to find Sara, the great love of Jon’s life who he met for an evening 10 years ago.
Dean, an obituary writer for the New York Times, has nothing but mad love and respect for Jon, who was a jackass and dared to foolishly and bravely fail in finding his true love. Dean tells Jon, “You know the Greeks didn’t write obituaries. They only asked one question when a man died: ‘Did he have passion?’”
Yes, Jon and Sara finally reunite at the skating rink in Rockefeller Center. They kiss and live happily ever after in the movie. Yeah, Jon lived with passion.
At the end of my journey, I hope that I lived with passion. That I gave everything I had. That I’m an empty vessel. I got later in life that I have as much fun as I can for as long as I can. I do what I love for as long as I can, too. The great loves of my life are Aikido and writing. They both give me life.
I’ve trained in Aikido for 35 years. I’m Godan (5th degree black belt). The late Mizukami Sensei taught me Aikido for 25 years until he passed away. When I first started training with Sensei, I had to prove that I was good enough. I was never good enough for my Dad when I was growing up. That stayed with me through adulthood.
Mizukami Sensei became a father to me. He said, “Just train.” I didn’t have to get somewhere or prove anything. I could just be me. Sensei created the space to succeed, fail, and expand from both as I invented the greater-than versions of myself.
For Sensei, Aikido wasn’t just about precise technique, it was about being a good man, a good person. Aikido was the great love of Sensei’s life. I inherited his love. I became the best I could be out of mad love and respect for Sensei and for me. Growing up, I had no love and respect for 8-year-old Jon. I did now.
The late Mizukami Sensei taught both Ishibashi Sensei and me. Now, Ishibashi Sensei is my Sensei, my big brother. I open myself up and have the most fun training with Sensei. I let go more and more of my fear inside that I not good enough when I enter the attack in Aikido practice. At the end of class, I tell Sensei, “I had fun.” He smiles.
Ishibashi Sensei said that everything he has is because of Mizukami Sensei. I’m the man I’m proud to be, because of Mizukami Sensei, too. Out of our mad love and respect for the late Mizukami Sensei, Ishibashi Sensei and I give away all that we got from Sensei. Mizukami Sensei lived a life of service and made a difference for others. Sensei had passion.
When I began working with my therapist Lance Miller to heal my childhood trauma and depression, he asked me to come up with a list of attributes that I wanted in a woman for a romantic relationship. Honestly, I really had no interest in generating that list. My passion was movies and writing movie reviews. I reflected upon my Favorite of All-Time (FOAT) Movie, Writer and Director Martin Brest’s Meet Joe Black.
Anthony Hopkins plays CEO Bill Parrish, who tells his daughter Susan, played by Claire Forlani, about the vitality of passion:
Love is passion, obsession, someone you can’t live without. I say, fall head over heels. Find someone you can love like crazy and who will love you the same way back. How do you find him? Well, you forget your head, and you listen to your heart. And I’m not hearing any heart. Cause the truth is, honey, there’s no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love, well, you haven’t lived a life at all. But you have to try, cause if you haven’t tried, you haven’t lived.
I’m on the journey to fall madly and deeply in love with someone, who will love me the same way back. Who knows? Lightning could strike.
Instead of coming up with a list of what qualities I wanted in a woman, I wrote a book about falling in love and loving and forgiving mine own self. WTF. I wrote my book for someone out there who could have been me, who hated on themselves. I wanted to let them know that the sun rises in the morning after the darkest nights. They can create themselves anew. And that takes some work. I discovered my passion: writing.
My dear friend from high school and Bestselling Author Ken Goldstein inspired me to self-publish. He said that there’s an audience for what I write. So, I self-published on Amazon. No, my book wasn’t the fairytale Bestseller. Although, some of the people who read my book said and wrote that it made a difference. That’s all that I could have hoped for.
That all led to writing articles for The Good Men Project, with my Editors Lisa Hickey and Li M Blacker. I write about loving yourself for who you are and forgiving yourself for who you’re not on the path to end suffering. From the number of shares we receive, what I’ve written has made a difference. I’m both humbled and grateful.
I do what I love for as long as I can. I have as much fun as I can for as long as I can, too. I would like to make a difference for others and leave the world a better place than when I can into it. That’s my purpose in life. My passion.
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Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash
