A way of connecting with your life, not a lot of energy, cultivating attention in a certain way, paying attention on purpose in the present moment, non-judgementally, as if your life depended on it.
— Jon Kabat Zin
I am often asked about mindfulness, and how to get more of it. People talk about mindfulness like it’s some type of commodity, “Oh yeah, I’ll take a side of fries and some mindfulness please.” And it’s no wonder people are seeking this so desperately because most of us are living life at the mercy of our reactions, fears, and worries. Our minds are all over the place; reacting to opinions, planning and worrying, and reminiscing of the past. That’s why you can’t sleep at night. Your head hits the pillow, but your mind is racing. We weren’t taught awareness skills in school. Instead we were taught how to be intelligent, but nothing taught us how to deal with our feelings, emotions, and inner chatter. This is why mindfulness training is so important, it gives us space or distance from our reactive brains. Mindfulness is not clearing your head, but paying attention to what’s going on in a nonjudgmental way. In this post, I’m going to give you the tool chest to become more mindful, and it won’t take you eight weeks like it took me, it’ll only take you eight minutes to read.
Non-Judging
I like that, I don’t want that, this is good, that’s bad … it’s a steady stream of judging. When you develop awareness of how you are being, how you are showing up in the present moment, you will see how judgmental you are. But don’t judge yourself that you’re judging. Just be aware of it. Notice it. If you try meditating for the first time, or heck, first month, you’ll catch yourself saying, “this is boring, I can’t do this.” This is a judgment. Recognize these judgments and suspend them.
Patience
We are always rushing to get somewhere else or impatient to get the next thing that’s happening. We are not present. If we are not living in the present moment, then how can we ever get to where we think we are supposed to be. The irony, is we are then always in a rush. Patience reminds us to simply be open to each moment and accept it in fullness. Instead of trying to fill your life up with busyness and things to do, savor the moment and fill it up with richness.
Beginner’s Mind
Everything is new. Imagine you’re seeing things for the first time. I am often make this mistake with my three-year-old, as it’s so easy to let him stress me out. It’s so easy to be stressed by his tantrums, or when he doesn’t listen, or when he asks me the same question or why he must do something twenty times. But when you cultivate this beginner’s mind, you start to see your children for the miracle that they are. You bring a sort of freshness to the relationship again. Bring beginner’s mind to your relationship with your significant other. Do you view them through your thought or opinions as of thirty minutes ago or thirty years ago? Or do you see them for who they are at this very moment?
Trust
Trust starts with yourself—with your body. We trust the breath goes in and out. We trust the eyes will see, the ears will hear, the organs will take care of all the biological things. Bring trust to ourselves, so we can bring trust to other people and our relationships.
Acceptance
This is probably the most difficult mindfulness tactic for me to implement in my own life. It’s this idea, that things are just the way are. It doesn’t mean we can’t change anything in the world, but to recognize the actuality of things, and not force the things that we cannot. Jon Kabat Zin gives the example when working with chronic pain patients in his clinic. Zin learned that by teaching patients to accept the pain they were able to recover and cope with the pain much better. Acceptance almost freed them from the suffering.
Letting Go
Letting go is the opposite of clinging or grasping. We are constantly grasping to the past, aren’t we? We are holding on to pain from when someone hurt us in the past, or made us feel less than who we are. These unpleasant events are going to arise, and there’s no avoiding them. So reminding ourselves to just be, to let go, so that we can move forward.
Non-Striving
Non-striving is this idea of “non-doing,” just allowing things to be. It’s allowing things to unfold as they are, without trying to change anything. This idea of non-striving can be very powerful and restorative, as many of us our so pre-occupied by agendas and to-do lists.
Gratitude & Generosity
Connect with gratitude and all the amazing things you have going in your life. When you realize how full and rich your life really is, you’ll feel whole and complete. When you are over-flowing with gratitude, you feel so rich, that you have more to give. Imagine how powerful it is when you give yourself to life, and in turn, make others happy.
Put It To Action
Mindfulness practice is difficult to begin, as you feel like it’s not working, and you’re constantly asking yourself, “Is this working? I don’t even know if I’m doing it right.” Further, you’re sitting and doing nothing, which is a huge stretch for many of you. I know the feeling, sitting for 10 minutes in silence feels like an eternity. This training can be very powerful and transformative, but you must be disciplined and intentional about it, if you wish to see any change. Set time aside each day, six days a week for eight weeks. Practice for as little as 10 minutes a day. Don’t be discouraged if you feel as if you’re not making any gains in the beginning. Mindfulness is a way of being. You are preparing the mind, body, heart for an unknown time that you least expect, but will be ready.
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Photo: Getty Images
